The River Darkies.
Fog so thick you couldn't run a locomotive through it without a snow-plough; night so dark the clerk has two men on each side of him with pitch-pine torches, to enable him to see his spectacles (he wears spectacles); pilot so drunk the boys have painted his face with charcoal and coke berries, till he looks like a rag carpet in the last stages of dilapidation; and he is fast asleep, with his legs (pardon me, but—legs), tied to the capstan, his whiskers full of coal-dust and cinders, and the black end of the poker in his mouth.
Boat fast aground, with her symmetrical nose six feet deep in Kentucky mud; there she complacently lies, waiting for the mail boat to come along and pull her out. Passengers elegantly disposed in various stages of don't-care-a-cent-itiveness, and the subscriber, taking advantage of the temporary sobriety of the clerk, and his consequent attendance in the after-cabin to play poker with the mates, embraces the opportunity to write. The silence is of brief duration, for I am interrupted by a grand oratorio by the nigger firemen, much to my delight and edification. It runs somewhat as follows:—
(Grand opening chorus) "A-hoo—a-hoo—hoo-oooo—a-hooo—a-hoo—a-hooo—a-hoooo-oo!"
The dashes in the following represent the passages where the superfluity of the harmony prevented the proper appreciation of the poetry.
"Gwin down de ribber—a-hoo-a-O!
Good-bye—nebber come back——debbil——beans——Grey-haired injun——Ya-a—a—aaaa—Ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a——
Ga—!" (leader of orchestra) "dirty shirt massa, got de whisky bottle in his hat, dis poor ole boy nebber git none——
A-hoo—a-hooo—a-hooooo!" (ending in an indescribable howl).
(Pensive darkey on the coal heap)—"Miss Serefiny good-bye—farewell; nebber git no more red pantaloonses from Miss Serefiny—Oho—Ahooo—Ahooo-O!"
(Extemporaneous voluntary by an original nigger with two turkey feathers in his hat, and his hair tied up with yellow strings)—
"Corn cake—'lasses on it—vaphuns—" (meaning waffles) "big ones honey on 'em—Ya-a-a-a-a-a."
(Stern rebuke by leader)—"Shut up your mouf, you 'leven hundred dollar nigger."