"Oh Clara, Clara, don't say that, whatever you do, because I know you will keep to it, you are so shamefully obstinate. And I never loved any one in the world like you; no, not even Conny."
"And not even your father or mother?"
"No, not half so much. I like Pappy very well when he is good and kind, but that is not very often now"--the poor little thing's eyes filled again with tears,--"and as for my mother, I never even saw her; she died when I was born."
"And I love you too, my sweet, best of all the world--now. Nevertheless, we must part."
"And never see each other? I don't call that loving. Tell me why: do tell me why. There seems some horrid mystery about every one I love."
And she was overcome with grief. She had not been, like me, apprenticed young to trouble.
"Darling, I will write to you sometimes. You can come here for the letters. I will have no secrets any more from you; but you must never attempt to write to me--only send your name on a bit of paper when my letters go."
"But why on earth mayn't I write to you, Clara dear?"
"I can't tell you why. Only I cannot bear it." The truth was I could never have borne to read about her brother. So all that was settled, and I said good-bye with plenty of bitter crying. As for Balaam and Balak, from whom I expected tidings, and George Cutting, whom I had thought it right to send for--I had not the heart to attend to any of them. Dr. Franks had done his utmost to oppose my sudden journey, but I told him truly that I should go mad if I stopped there any longer. I could not bear the mere sight of the room where I had been, in the height of delicious joy, so trampled upon and outraged. My brain was burning, and my heart was aching for the only spot on earth where true love could be found, the spot where lay my father and my mother.
Seeing how the fever of the mind was kindling, the doctor, like a good physician, knew that the best plan was to indulge, and so allay it. Yet he begged me, if I had any regard for him, not to travel all alone while in that dangerous state. With most unlooked-for and unmerited kindness, he even sent his eldest daughter, at an hour's notice, to see me home in safety.