"Yes, mother, from costa, the Latin for a rib. And it often comes in Homer. 'And thus accosting him in reply spake sovereign Agamemnon.' Old Rum does it like that, nearly always."
"Tommy, what a clever boy you are! I love to hear a bit of Latin from you. But whatever you say to the Twentifold people, you never must speak of your master as 'Old Rum.' It sounds quite low, and it contains no learning. You may speak of Dr. Rumbelow, if you like, and your place of education, the Pantheon—though why it should have the same name as a bazaar, I am very much afraid I shall never understand. But mind, more than anything else, my son, what I am going to tell you now. You say that none of them asked you, on Friday, what was your father's path in life."
"No, mother; none of them said a word about it. All they wanted to know was about myself. But I'm not sure, I did not tell about Old Rum."
"Well, it won't matter much, if you did, my dear. But the boys at school call you 'soap,' and 'tallow,' and 'bubbles,' and 'dips,' and a quantity of things; all of which prove how low they are themselves. Now, we will not allow these great people to do that. And the only way to stop them, is not to let them know private matters, that can be no concern of theirs. Above all things, be truthful as the day, my son. Your father is not an Admiral; and you must acknowledge that he is not—supposing that the question should come up—and if they want to know any more about him, which people of any good manners would not, just tell them (in so many words) the truth—that your father is a gentleman, the head of his own firm of merchants in the Metropolis, and invited to dine at the Mansion-house, from his eminence in politics."
"But suppose they should ask about the boiling, mother; and the things that we sell, and the smell in the Lane——"
"What a stupe you are! As if you didn't know by this time, after all the schooling you have had, that in good society nobody knows of anything that doesn't smell nice. The highest of them do all that themselves; but as for talking of it, and in the presence of ladies—why it makes them faint. Your mother is of a good family, Tommy; and you get your distinguished appearance from her. And though I did marry a Lightbody first, and after his time an Upmore, I have often been told that my ancestors had a knighthood in their family, which makes it improper for a son of mine, to say anything about soap-boiling. Moreover, I will tell you, as a very great secret, which you must not say a word about in Maiden Lane, what your father was saying in his sleep, the other night. It was the first night we came down here, and the strange bed, and the kicking noise the sea makes, and the late dinner, and the Welsh rabbit to top up with, perhaps interfered with his natural rest; for he has not told a word of his dreams for years. He thought he was talking to you, my dear, and you were at the top of a ladder, or a tree, so far as I could make out his words. 'Tommy, come down,' he said; 'come down, Tommy; and I'll show you where all the money is put, for you to go into Parliament.' And then I suppose that you wouldn't come down, for he slapped at his leg, where he keeps his money; and he called out louder—'They meddle with me! I'll meddle with them, when it comes to a plum; and let them know who Upmore is. And if I am too old, my son shall do it.' And then he got sore, where he knocked himself; for his hand is heavy, and his veins are large; and he awoke very grumpy, and rubbed his leg; and I could not get any more out of him."
"Why, Bill Chumps is going into Parliament!" I cried, being struck by this strange coincidence; "and I should like to go very much, wherever he is; and Roly Twentifold is sure to go too; and we ought to do something between us, mother, for the good of the country, and all the poor people, and to make things fetch more money. I was reading about a great man, the other day——"
"I don't want to hear about any great men, until you are one of them, Tommy. Go and play on the sands, while I rest for an hour; this air does make me yawn so. Are you sure you have got your dumbbells in your pockets, and your fisherman's lead round the top of your stomach? Then whistle for Grip, for there might be Professors down here, for aught we know of. And come back, as soon as the London papers are down, if there is anything about any of us."
In spite of the weight I had now to carry, for fear of going out to sea again, I ran away joyfully down the sands, as they call the gravel where the sand should be. At the ring of the steel-whistle which I carried round my neck, Grip came bounding from the Inn to meet me, and with mutual confidence we began to poke about, for something to afford a hunt. Then I heard a voice holloaing out, "Hi, Tommy!" and with a long stride, quite like that of a man, Sir Roland Twentifold came down to me.
"Why, I thought you had given us the slip," he shouted, for he always spoke as if he wanted every one to hear; "I came down with my pony on Saturday, but I could not see a sign of you. And I did not like to call at the Inn, because of your mother's bad health, you know. And on Sundays, my mother won't let me go far; because she is religious, and so am I. There are so few fellows who care for that now, that I stick up for it, and mean to do so. I won't have everything turned upside down."