Memoirs of a London doll

by R. H. Horne

The carriage was ordered at twelve o’clock, and we drove to Regent’s Park. I had on a new bonnet with a white lace veil, and looked very nice. After driving once round the circle, we got out at the Zoological Gardens, and went in to see the animals.

My little lady mamma first took me to see the parrots, and parroquets, and macaws. Some of the macaws were all white; some white, with an orange-colored topknot; some were green, with scarlet and blue in the wings and tail, and with scarlet and white in their faces. Then they had two or three very long, straight feathers in their tails and they spoke to each other, and often scolded in a very hoarse voice. Some of the parrots were all green, some all grey; but there was one of the parroquets—a little bright-eyed, quick fellow,—who was nearly all red, and had a funny, impudent crown of feathers of white and purple upon the top of his head, but a very short tail. Now, as we were looking at him, Lady Flora suddenly took a fancy to touch his short tail—not with her own hand though, but with mine, which she poked through the wires of his cage for that purpose. ‘Kark!’ cried the little red, quick fellow, turning round very briskly and giving such a peck at my hand. He just missed me, because the governess, who was close by, instantly drew back my mamma’s arm and mine too, of course, at the same time; the peck, however, fell upon the edge of the cage and made a mark in the wood. This was a narrow escape, everybody would say; still it is not the terrible one I shall presently have to relate.

After this, the same little quick fellow pretended his poll wanted scratching, and held down his head to have it done for him, with his eyes shut—one eye, though, not quite closed—and his head turned rather sideways. ‘No, no!’ said the governess, ‘no, thank you, sir; you only want to get another chance of a peck at our fingers!’ So we went away, and then the little quick fellow looked up in a moment with such a bright eye, and cried, ‘Kark! skrark!’

After this my mamma took me, all trembling as I was, to see the monkeys. As she remembered the danger I had been in from the red parroquet with the impudent topknot, Lady Flora did not put either of my hands into any of the cages, but held me up in front of one of them, that I might see the monkeys. Oh, how I wished for a voice to cry, ‘Not so close, mamma! Do not hold me so close!’

The monkey who was nearest to the bars was the quietest of them. While the others were running and skipping, and climbing all over the cage, this one sat quite still, with his head bent down and his eyes looking upon the floor; and now and then he looked into the black palm of his little brown hand, with a very grave and earnest face, as if he was considering something about which he was very anxious: when all of a sudden he darted one arm through the bars of his cage, right at my head, and just reached my white veil with his little brown hand! He tore it quite off from the bonnet—ran up the wires in front, squeaking and chattering—and the next moment we saw him at the back of the cage, high up, sitting upon a small shelf tearing my veil all to pieces, and showing us his white teeth, with round staring eyes, and his mouth opening and shutting as fast as possible.

This also was a narrow escape, everybody will say; still it is not the terrible one I shall almost directly have to relate.

We went to see the tigers and leopards, and while the governess was looking at a zebra, we went too close to be safe, and also too close to the bars of the elephant’s enclosure, so that he could have reached us very well with his trunk; but none of these chances are like the terrible escape I am now about to relate. I may well call it a terrible one, because I might have broken my neck or my back, or both, besides breaking the head of somebody else at the same moment.

We drove to the Edgeware Road, and down Park Lane to Mayfair, in order to pay a visit to a lady of high rank, the Duchess of Guineahen; and then straight home. After Lady Flowerdale, my mamma’s mamma, had dined, I heard with the greatest delight that her ladyship intended to take Lady Flora with her this evening to the Italian opera. Lady Flowerdale had often before said that she thought my mamma was at present too young to go to any place where the hours are always so late; however, she determined to take her.

There was a great fuss in dressing both Lady Flora and myself, but at last it was finished, and we were all impatience to go. I had on a new pink silk frock, with a white lace scarf, and a lovely bouquet of the sweetest flowers was placed in my sash. When we got into the carriage Lady Flowerdale sat on one side, and my mamma and I on the other. We seemed all silks, and muslins, and sparkles, and feathers, and appeared quite to fill the carriage, so that there was not room for another doll.

Out we got, and passed through the crowd and the soldiers at the door, and up stone steps we went, and through passages full of silks, and muslins, and lace, and jewels, and feathers, and chattering—and up more steps, and along more passages, till at last we were in a little box, and looked round into a great place full of little boxes, and deep down upon a crowd below; and all the place was full of light, and the same kind of silks, and muslins, and lace, and sparkles, and feathers, and chattering, as we had found in the passages and on the stairs, all of which we saw better on account of the dark coats of the gentlemen, who were like the shadows of this picture of a house of fine ladies.