The conservative Kentucky chap, being fond of turkey for dinner himself, waved his glittering sword above his head, and says he:
"The South has brought this upon herself. Make ready.—"
He was about to add "Fire!" my boy! but he had just put on his spectacles, and a sudden change came over his Kentucky countenance. Says he:
"For Heaven's sake, don't fire! Vallandigham me," says he, staring right over the turkey,—"Vallandigham me, if I didn't come near telling them to shoot! And there's a nigger coming after the turkey as sure as death. Ah! what an escape!"
A Mackerel chap, who had noticed his staring and great agitation, approached respectfully, and says he:
"Does a obstacle to victory protrude?"
The conservative Kentucky chap spat at a copy of the "Tribune," which he threw upon the ground for the purpose, and says he:
"Notwithstanding any Proclamations whatsoever, Kentucky is not waging this war against the institution of slavery. In the dim distance I behold a contraband apparently approaching the turkey, and there must be no bombardment until he has returned to his rightful owner."
The Mackerel chap wiped his boots with the "Tribune," and says he:
"I do not see our brother Africa at all."