An hundred Kisses; here’s a Knack indeed, &c.
But let the Altar have thy presence in Communion with God, in Prayers for his Grace, and Patience, to support any Calamity that may fall upon thee.
Lastly, Let the Bells put you in mind to contemplate on Death, and every time you Ring, think how long it may be ere one of these may be your turn to have to sound
The Nine sad Knolls of a Dull Passing-Bell,
With the loud Language of a Nightly Knell.
This in short, is the use the Ringer ought to make of this his Recreation, which if he makes duly and rightly, he may then Lawfully enjoy all the Benefit he can desire from it. And here I shall make an end of this Observation by way of Advice to the Ringer, which perhaps coming amongst Recreations may look unseasonable; But I know (at least presume) if I meet with an ingenious Reader, I shall need no Apology, for playing the Divine, in the directing the good Use of our Pleasures, and aiming at the furtherance of Virtue in all our Actions.
Thus much for Ringing.
Italy is asserted by universal Consent, to have been the Country whence this Recreation took its Birth and Original; and indeed ’tis no wonder that she who is called the Queen or Empress of the World, the Mistress of the Nations, nay the Paradise of the World, should yield such Art and Ingenuity, and gentile Cunning, as her proper Product: A Country whose Inhabitants for their Gravity, Respectiveness, and Ingenuity will ever stand Chronicled in the Books of Fame. A People that are obedient to their Superiors, Courteous to their Inferiors, full of all Civility to their Equals, Affable to Strangers, and most desirous by all fair and friendly Offices to win their Love. In their Apparel fine and modest, in their Furniture of their Houses sumptuous, and at their Tables neat, sober in Speech, Enemies of all ill Reports of others, and so tender of their own Reputation, that whosoever Slanders any one, and it reach the Parties Ear, the Slanderer certainly dies for it: Thrifty they are generally of their Money and Expence, and love no more Cost, than what they are sure to Save by, or have great Thanks for; but otherwise for civil Behaviour and Deportment, surpassing all the Gentry of the World besides. But one thing I dare not omit in this Character of them, viz. That they are extream Jealous of their Wives; and indeed not without some reason, if what is spoken proverbially of their Women, be true, That they are as Magpies at the door, Saints in the Church, Goats in the Garden, Devils in the House, Angels in the Streets, and Syrens at the Windows; if Nature does not make them appear Beautiful, Art shall, as Paintings and other sophistical Helps; whence comes this Proverb among them, If God make them tall and Fat (a goodly Woman being a Title of great Value among them) they will make themselves fair. In fine, The Gentry are very Rich, live of all Men the most careless and contented Lives, keeping the Poor as Drudges and Slaves for them; and as it is said of the Tyrant Polycrates, Have nothing to trouble them, but that they are troubled with nothing.
Thus I have given you a brief Character of the Inventors of this Recreation we are coming to treat of, and hence we may presume, how fit such a People as this is, to give Birth to such a Recreation, so Gentile, so Cleanly, and so Ingenious, that as their Persons and Manners are emulously esteemed, so are their Pastimes ambitiously pursued, by most Nations in Europe; and this Sport is hugely valued by all in general, few Noblemen’s or private Gentlemen’s Families, nor few noted Towns in England, but have Billiard Tables, and admire the Excellency of it, both for the Exercise of the Body, and the Recreation of the Mind. But to the Matter in hand.