"So vot vith Isaac, and vot vith this 'air brushin' a-always goin' on on the top of me 'ead, I feel pretty near like throwin' myself inter the river and settlin' it all that vay. Not that Isaac vould care--not 'e! 'E'd bury me as cheap as possible, and think it 'ard lines I vosn't voshed out to sea instead of bein' brought 'ome to cause 'im expense!"
"Well, well," said Jim, soothingly, "I'll give you some medicine that'll make you feel very much better, Mr Harris. You're run down, and that's why you feel so despondent."
"The real reason vy," continued Mr Harris, as Jim got up to prepare the medicine, "I don't do avay vith myself is, I vant to stay by Isaac's side and go on varnin' 'im agen Rebecca Nathan. She's a designin' minx--she's just leadin' Isaac on to get vot she can out of 'im."
"What--has your son got a young woman?"
"Young voman! Vy, she's older than Isaac by ten years, and Isaac's twenty-four. 'E's infatooated, is Isaac. 'E leans 'er photograrf agen the corfee pot an' sighs venever 'e looks at it, and 'e puts it just vare 'e'll see it ven 'e vakes in the mornin'. 'E bought her a flash diamond brooch, but she noo better than to be took in that vay, so 'e 'ad to buy 'er a real one. She's the sharpest bit of female-goods in Mount Street--father keeps the fried-fish shop by the 'Lord Nelson.'"
"I know the place," said Jim.
"'Eaps o' money," continued Mr Harris, "but do you think my son Isaac vill ever get even a sniff at it? Not 'e! Rebecca Nathan vill marry a gentleman, doctor dear--she's only usin' Isaac!"
"Here's the medicine, Mr Harris. Take a wine-glassful after each meal."
"Vell, I don't believe any medicine in the vorld vill do me any good," said Mr Harris, "but I'll take it, so it von't be vasted. Yes, I'll be gettin' back now. That velp Isaac, 'e's goin' to take Rebecca to a music-'all--yes, in the two-bob seats. 'E never spent more than sixpence on a seat in 'is life before. Larst veek 'e took 'er to 'ave 'er 'ead told by a phrenologist feller, and then 'e 'ad 'is own told, and came 'ome with it all swelled up because the phrenologist said 'e 'ad a big bump of locality and noo 'is vay about."
At that moment the surgery bell rang, and directly after the little Chinaman fell bang on to his nose.