“I would remind you, my good sir,” I said, “that gaming is forbidden in almost all the States; that a judge in South Carolina said that if he could have his own way, he would hold that a billiard room kept for filthy lucre’s sake was a nuisance at common law;[172] and the same judge decided that a bowling-alley kept for gain was a nuisance. In Kentucky, it was held unlawful to throw dice to see who should pay for the drinks;[173] in Virginia, betting on a game of bagatelle was held illegal;[174] while in Tennessee, selling prize-candy packages was decided to be gaming and indictable.”[175]
“Alas, my country!”
“By the way, do you remember, sir, the distinction the Ettrick Shepherd drew between the card-playing of old people and that of young folk?” asked an elderly bystander of Scotian descent.
“No, what was it?”
“He says, ‘you’ll generally fin’ that auld folk that play carrds have been raither freevolous, and no muckle addicteed to thocht, unless they’re greedy, and play for the pool, which is fearsome in auld age. But as for young folks, lads and lasses like, when the gude man and his wife are gaen to bed, what’s the harm in a gaem at cairds? It’s a cheerfu’ noisy sicht o’ comfort and confusion; sic lookin’ into ane ainither’s han’s! sic fause shufflin’! sic unfair dealin’! sic winkin’ to tell your pairtner that ye hae the king or the ace! And when that winna do, sic kicken’ o’ shins an’ treadin’ on taes aneath the table—often the wrong anes! Then what gigglin’ amang the lasses! what amiable, nay, love quarrels between pairtners! jokin’ an’ jeestin’, and tauntin’ an’ toozlin’—the cawnel blawn out, an’ the sound of a thousan’ kisses. That’s caird-playin’ in the kintra, Mr. North, and where’s the man amang ye that’ll daur to say that it’s no’ a pleasant pastime o’ a winter nicht, when the snaw is a cumin’ doon the hun, or the speat’s roarin’ amang the mirk mountains?”
“Give us that in English,” said the forward young man, as he left the room.
* * * * * *
There was a door between our bedroom and that adjoining. Upon taking possession, we tried it; it appeared fast, but the key was not on our side and the bolt was hors du combat.
My wife had retired for the night, and was rapidly approaching that moment when the rustling silk, the embroidered skirt, the pannier, the braids, and elaborately arranged coiffure are exchanged for a robe de nuit of virgin white and a bob of hair on the head, simplex numditiis. Suddenly the door between the two rooms creaked, squeaked, and opened, and a creature clad in man’s attire protruded his head. When, however, he saw that the room was occupied he drew back, laughing to himself as he locked the door.
On my arrival I found the partner of my joys and sorrows perched upon the bed like Patience on a monument. Immediately chambermaids, housemaids, and waiters were summoned, and informed that the key must be taken out of that dreadful door and placed in the office. After his voyage of discovery, Paul Pry had gone out, so a waiter entered the room, took the key, and having hampered the lock of P. P.’s door, he passed out via our room, my wife gracefully retiring into a closet. When we were quietly reclining on our downy couch we heard our neighbor making fruitless efforts to regain his room; in vain he summoned the chambermaid with her keys; in vain came the waiter with his. P. P. had to pass the night in another apartment, minus his toilet appointments.