If a look could have annihilated a coachee, never again would that man have mounted a box, or handled the ribbons, after the Medusa glance he then received. I emerged from the inside, into which the ladies stowed themselves and several parcels, packages and bandboxes, while several boxes of larger growth, containing their staple goods, were hoisted up aloft. After picking up a man we rattled off down the street into the open country.
The last comer had not as yet paid his fare, and at the first stopping-place he was asked for it; but he demurred, saying that as he had not prepaid the fare, it was not due until the whole journey was completed.
“You will have to leave the stage then,” said the collector.
“I’ll do nothing of the kind,” returned the other, “and if you force me off it will be at your peril, for your driver permitting me to commence the journey without prepayment is an acquiescence in my riding to the end before paying up, so you may howl and swear as much as you like.”[144]
At this the man of fares subsided, and we resumed our slow jog-trot without any diminution of numbers. The jolting of our vehicle soon caused one of the trunks belonging to one or other of the four sisters to gape and yawn in a manner which exposed the contents thereof in a way which would doubtless have caused the fair owner to blush to the roots of her hair (if it was her own she wore), and it appearing probable that articles of feminine apparel would soon be scattering themselves over the dusty road, and knowing that the box not having been securely and properly packed and fastened, the carrier would not be liable for any loss or damage happening to it,[145] I persuaded the driver to stop until the mischief could be remedied; for such an injury would vex a saint, much more a shrew of her impatient humor. With much grumbling he consented, and all was soon made taut and right.
To make up for lost time, we now rushed ahead at a terrific pace, considering the clumsy, cumbrous, jingling, jerking concern in which we were travelling. The ladies within (who were crushing their bonnets, elbowing each other under the fifth rib, jumping up and bouncing into one another’s laps with every plunge of the coach), cried one and all:—
“Oh, do be careful—don’t go so fast.” And I, in admonitory tones, told the driver that we would hold him liable for any injuries that might happen to either ourselves or our baggage, in consequence of his racing in such an improper manner.[146]
“All right,” said he, “I’m responsible, and I am master too, here; so I’ll do just what I like.”
Scarce had he uttered these words when we drew near a large spreading tree, standing in the middle of the road. At a glance I saw that the coach must pass under the outstretched branches, and that they were so low that they would assuredly sweep the top of the stage clear of luggage and whatsoever else was thereupon, and unfortunately I myself was thereupon. I had no choice left but to jump off or remain in certain peril; mindful of my early performances in the gymnasium, of the two threatening evils I chose what appeared the lesser, and as the foremost twigs took off the hat of the driver (who was considerably below where I was perched), I sprang to the ground, and, as if in rage at my escape, the giant forest tree hurled two or three trunks after me; one came with a thud upon my foot and bruised it rather badly.
Of course the ladies screamed loudly as they saw me flying in a graceful parabolic curve through the azure air. The driver as rapidly as possible pulled up his old horses. Some loud conversation took place between myself and the man, interspersed with ejaculations more vigorous than religious, he contending that I had only myself to thank for my injuries, as if I had bent low enough I would not have been touched by the tree.