It is entirely physiological that playful taps and light blows should be taken for caresses,
“Like the lover’s pinch which hurts and is desired.”[[77]]
From here the step is not long to a state where the wish to experience a very intense impression at the hands of the consort leads to a desire for blows, etc., in cases of pathological intensification of lust; for pain is always a ready means for producing an intense bodily impression. Just as in sadism the sexual emotion leads to a state of exaltation in which the excessive motor excitement implicates neighboring nervous tracts; so in masochism an ecstatic state arises, in which the rising flood of a single emotion ravenously devours and covers with lust every impression coming from the beloved person.
The second and, indeed, the most important source of masochism is to be sought in a wide-spread phenomenon, which, though it is extraordinary and abnormal, by no means lies within the domain of sexual perversion.
I here refer to the very prevalent fact that in innumerable instances, which occur in all varieties, one individual becomes dependent on another of the opposite sex, in a very extraordinary and remarkable manner,—even to the loss of all independent will; a dependence which forces the party in subjection to acts and suffering which greatly prejudice personal interest, and often enough to offense against both morality and law.
This dependence, however, differs from the manifestations of normal life only in the intensity of the sexual feeling that here comes in play, and in the slight degree of will-power necessary for the maintenance of its equilibrium. The difference is one of intensity, not of quality, as in masochistic manifestations.
This dependence of one person upon another of the opposite sex, that is abnormal but not perverse,—a phenomena possessing great interest when regarded from a forensic stand-point,—I designate “sexual bondage;”[[78]] for the relations and circumstances attending it have in all respects the character of bondage. The will of the ruling individual dominates that of the person in subjection, just as a master’s does his bondsman’s.[[79]]
This “sexual bondage,” as has been said, is certainly an abnormal phenomenon. It begins with the first deviation from the normal. The degree of dependence of one person upon another, or of two upon each other, resulting from individual peculiarity in the intensity of motives that in themselves are normal, constitutes the normal standard established by law and custom. Sexual bondage is not a perverse manifestation, however; the instinctive activities at work here are the same as those that set in motion—even though it be with less violence—the psychical vita sexualis which moves entirely within normal limits.
Fear of losing the companion and the desire to keep him always satisfied, amiable, and inclined to sexual intercourse, are here the motives of the individual in subjection. An extraordinary degree of love—which, particularly in woman, does not always indicate an unusual degree of sensuality—and a weak character are the simple elements of this extraordinary process.[[80]]
The motive of the dominant individual is egoism, which finds unlimited room for action.