‘No d—— guessing for me, my lad. Get it mended and shove it in your butt-trap.’

We enjoyed this immensely, and felt that General Pom-Pom could beat Tosher any day.

‘Are you married?’ he asked Billy Greens, who was always rather pale and carried a worried look.

‘No, sir.’

‘What are you in civil life?’

‘A curate, sir.’

‘Thought so! Thought so!’ he said, passing on.

We all grinned.

‘Ah! You’re a musician, aren’t you?’ he inquired of a youth with lustrous locks.

‘No, sir—a Socialist!’