‘“Now I’m in a school for officers. They reckon Tosher is push-and-go stuff, and want to rig me out as a big-gun in the fightin’ business. I ain’t at all keen, for you’ve got to be respectable, and when you’re wearing one pip, you’re barred from asking a lady, ‘Is this the way to Bond Street?’ There’s a real first-class crowd here—remittance men, cow-punchers, log-rollers, grafters, and let-me-downs, not forgetting sky-pilots and kids from school. But they’re bright boys, and can jaw on anything from eugenics to corn cure. Why, it’s just good to think o’ the stuff that wants the King’s commission. Some are all ‘side,’ and some need it. And they’re all gaw-damn Tories, except one, and he’s a lawyer. (I’m watchin’ this fellow.)
‘“They teaches me how to eat sardines without using a knife, and how to chew an orange without splashing my dial. And you can bet your boots they show me how to do the big salaams to the Great Boss. It’s a wonderful business! When I get back I’ll know how to wipe my feet on the mayor’s mat. They call it ‘form,’ and they think we wild fellows from Shack Valley are the ruddiest lot of gum-chewing hobos that ever wore an army shirt and climbed up a gun. But I’m givin’ them hot stuff, an’ teachin’ them that we from out West ain’t one-eyed chicks from lop-brained Alabama.
‘“Still, it ain’t a bad institooshun, and the girls round here are prime. I can get a kiss for a maple-leaf, and a wife by giving a nod.
‘“Oh, boys, it’s a hellifa fine war! Give Laurier a miss and come right over. The way to heaven’s cheap, and all funeral expenses paid.
‘“Besides, the beer’s real good.”’
CHAPTER VI.
THE MODERN GIRL.