"What! Ten months ago?"
"Ach! that's naething; ma faither hisna had a waash since he got mairret."
"Well then, what's your age?"
"Age! I dinnae ken!"
"Don't know your age?"
"Naw, but I wis born the year that the auld chap wis sent tae Peterheid."
"Oh, what was that for?"
"Knockin' lumps aff the auld wife's heid wi' a poker."
"Very well, we'll say you're nineteen," added the sergeant. "Now, what's your religion?"
"The Salvation Army. Ye see, the auld [pg 5] chap kept in wi' them, for they gie him a bed when he's 'on the bash.'"