TREASURE TROVE
"Look here, men," said Colonel Killem, "I want to talk to you about some interesting things, especially your conduct towards Mohammedans. First of all, Doolan, tell me what a Mohammedan means?"
"Sure, sir, it manes a nigger who jabbers 'Allah' when yis put a bayonet in his guts."
"Not exactly; but what would you shout if you got a bayonet in your tummy."
"A gill of the best, sir."
"Well, now, a Mohammedan's a sort of eastern fanatic who thinks he'll get a 'corner lot' in Paradise if he reads the Koran and dies on the edge of your bayonets. Mecca is his holy shrine, and the old Sultan acts as a sort of elder or high priest who takes up the collections. We meet 'em ourselves—religious beggars who're always passing round the hat for ninepence to make up another shilling. Religion is always an expensive business, except in Scotland, where you get free seats to support the Kirk and Government. Isn't that so, Brown?"
"Jist in the Auld Kirk, sir, but I belang tae the Wee Frees."
"Who are the Wee Frees?"
"The Wee Frees were started by a lot o' Hielan-men oot o' a job."
"What were they after?"