“FORCED TO THE WAR.”
Price, 15 cents.
Five male, three female characters. Scenery, two simple interiors. The leading character is an old farmer, whose wish for the comforts of city life and the luxuries of wealth is answered in an unexpected and embarrassing manner. The piece abounds in rustic humor, the contrast between the simple old countryman and his city surroundings being ludicrously emphasized. All the characters are good and the piece easy to produce.
SYNOPSIS.
Act I. Kitchen in Jedediah's house. A stormy night. Family jar. Jedediah's return. A much abused man. “Hain't I been wrecked with floods, an' blizzards, an' hurricanes, an' every other calamity under the sun?” Dissatisfied with his sphere in life. “I want ter be rich, that's what I want, an' with nuthin' ter du but jest sit around an' take life easy.” Mr. Markham seeks shelter from the storm. Jedediah, relates his troubles, after which he retires. Scheme between Mrs. Blood and Mr. Markham to cure Jedediah from grumbling. The Dutchman let into the secret. “You vhas der doctor, und I vhas der general superintendent. Pizness is pizness.” Jedediah; placed under the influence of anæsthetics and taken to the mansion of Mr. Markham.
Act II. Room in Markham's mansion. Jedediah awakes from his stupor. A bewildered man. “What—on—airth—Why! where am I, anyhow!” Female servants not wanted. Believes himself to be dreaming and endeavors to awake. “I've hern tell if you could shout, or thrash yourself about, it would wake you from the toughest nightmare on record. So here goes.” Interview between Jedediah and John. “Wise man holds tongue. Old proverb. Better follow it.” Fun by the bushel. More and more bewildered. Mrs. Blood as Mrs. Southernwood. An explanation wanted. “For Heaven's sake tell me where I am an' what's the matter.” Old home the best. Asleep or crazy—which? “Oh, Lord, I'm in a lunatic asylum, an' these servants are my keepers.” Jedediah retires. Once more returned to his old home.
Act III. Same as Act I. Conundrums. “Why do some ladies who do up their hair imitate a rooster?” The Dutchman's conundrum. “Vy does der hen move his head back und forth vhen she vhalks?” Something about baseball. Jedediah awakes. “I've had a dream.” So have Thomas and the Dutchman. Jedediah's story. A permanent cure. “No matter under what circumstances I am placed, or how poor my condition may be, I will never again find fault with my sphere in life.”
THE BAT AND THE BALL.
A Farce in one Act.