‘What’s that?’ said the third wife, stooping to look at it, as if she could not make it out, and without taking it in her hand.
‘It’s your supper,’ replied the mother-in-law.
‘My supper! do you think I’ve come to my second childhood, to be helped to driblets like that!’ and she filliped it to the other end of the room.
Then she went to her husband and said—
‘I’ll tell you what we must do; we must have false keys made, and get into the store-closet[3] and take what we want.’
Though the mother-in-law was so miserly, there was good provision of everything in the store-closet; and so with the false keys she took flour and lard and ham, and they had plenty of everything. One day she had made a delicious cake of curdled sheep’s milk,[4] and she gave a woman a halfpenny to take it to the baker’s to bake, saying—
‘Make haste, and bring it back, that we may get through eating it while the old woman is at mass.’
She was not quick enough, however, and the mother-in-law came in just about the same time that the cake came back from the baker’s. The third son’s wife to hide it from her caught it up and put it under her petticoats, but it burned her ankles, so that she was obliged to bring it out. Then the mother-in-law understood what had been going on, and went into such a fury, the house could not hold her.
Then the third son’s wife sent the same woman to the chemist, saying, ‘get me three pauls of quicksilver.’ And she took the quicksilver, when the mother-in-law was asleep, and put it into her mouth and ears, so that she could not storm or scold any more. But after a time she died of vexation; and then they opened wide the store-room, and lived very comfortably.
[Here may follow a couple of stories of mixed folly and craft.]