Autobiography of an Androgyne

by Ralph Werther

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INDEX TO AUTOBIOGRAPHY

• A
• Abnormality, congenital, [29]
• Abstinence would wreck life, [106]
• Acting out a drama, [120]
• Active pederasts, [156]
• Actives are ultra-virile, [118]
• Adopted son, first, [87], [236] ff., [249]
• Adopted son, second, [240] ff., [249]
• Advice to young inverts, [94], [242]
• Æstheticism, [16]
• Aftermath of dissipation, [93], [94], [150], [195], [243]
• Age 4 to 8, [31] ff.
  • 9 to 12, [38] ff.
  • 13 to 18, [44] ff.
  • 19 to 21, [79] ff.
  • 22 to 23, [139] ff.
  • 24 to 26, [180] ff.
  • 27 to 28, [195] ff.
  • 29 to 30, [210] ff.
  • 31 to 39, [225] ff.
  • 40 to 44, [238] ff.
• Ague, sexual, [62], [72]
• Alcohol, author’s attitude, [78], [126]
• Alcohol conduces ven. disease, [126], [234]
• Aliases, origin of, [26]
• Alleviating ill effects, [95]
• Anatomical peculiarities of associates, [87], [127]
• Androgyne defined, [6]
• Androgyne’s marriage bond, [83]
• Androgynes the handiwork of God, [108]
• Androgynism, frequency of, [2], [34]
• Apparel, feminine, coveted, [36], [103]
• Apparel of inverts, [36], [122], [202]
• Appeal to General G., [229]
• Appeal to highminded adolescents, [105], [195]
• Appeal to U. S. district attorney, [229]
• Army officers, interviews with, [213], [215], [226], [229], [230]
• Arrest, [112], [130], [213], [226], [230]
  • chronic fear of, [114]
  • wishing for, [171]
• Assault and battery, [64], [135], [136], [145], [146], [149], [172], [225]–228
• Attraction, in boyhood, exercised on males, [10], [37], [44]
• Attractiveness, what constituted, [86], [148], [149]
• B
• Babying, [15], [48], [52], [78], [79], [85], [90], [152], [154], [179], [191], [192], [218]
• Babyishness, [15], [64], [80], [85], [90], [98], [116], [119], [120], [123], [147], [154]–156, [191], [209], [210], [212], [218], [219], [222], [239], [246], [219]
• Beauty, feminine, powerless, [47], [236]
• Bemoaning lot, [41], [46], [48], [49], [51], [53], [54], [58], [67], [69], [70], [75], [129], [141], [196], [209], [235], [245]
• Betrayal of author, [139]
• Beza on androgynes, [6]
• Biblical condemnation not applicable, [107]
• Birth, [27]
• Blackmailers, [112], [145], [149], [165], [171], [186], [193], [212], [225], [241], [242]
• Body-shaving, [124]
• Bowery, debut on, [66]
  • night on, [147]
• Burglarized, [241]
• Business success of author, [244]
• C
• Cannibalism, [171]
• Career (open) ends, [231]
• Cast out of a camp, [121]
• Castration, [197]
  • appeal for at nineteen, [74]
  • by self meditated, [41]
  • effects of, [198] ff., [230]
• Cause of inversion, [18]
• Ceremony of adoration and of enslavement, [98]
• Chance encounters with associates of other self, [162] ff.
• Child, hypochondriacal and weak, [31]
• Childhood eccentricities, [37]
  • pastimes, [36], [37]
• Childlikeness when adult, [14], [44], [119], [189], [248]
• Chronic overwhelming fear, [146]
• Coitus cum puella, [30], [236]
• Coitus (fellatio) a panacea, [82]
  • effects of, [82], [90], [92] ff., [243]
• Coitus, methods of, [89] ff.
• Conflict of my two lives, [129]
• Conflicts of double life, [162]
• Conversation, samples of, [64], [72], [122], [129], [134], [148], [165], [169], [181], [192], [211]
• Convulsions in early childhood, [31]
• Courtmartialled, [229]
• Cured (practically), [235], [245]
• D
• Darkest New York, [154]
• Debut as deliciae militum, [111]
  • as high-class fairie, [122]
  • as low-class fairie, [142]
  • at Fort X, [191]
  • at Fort Y, [202]
  • in Fort Z company, [225]
  • in Fourteenth Street, [122]
  • in Stuyvesant Square, [130]
  • on Bowery, [66]
  • on Mulberry Street, [71]
• Defecation, incontinence of, [158]
• Depilation, [124]
• Detective arrests, [130]
• Divine ban on celibacy, [161]
• Double-life disclosed, [139], [188]
  • reason for, [174]
• Driven to a stripling, [195]
• E
• Eavesdroppers, [152], [168]
• Eekhoud on inversion, [20]
• Effects of fellatio on associates, [88], [89], [194]
• Ejaculations in self, [39], [92], [95], [195], [196], [198]
• Ellis’s theory of inversion, [21]
• Encounters with acquaintances of one life while living out the other, [162] ff.
• Eradication of facial hair, [124], [202]
• Erotic dreams, [46]
• Ethics of inversion, [23], [45], [52], [56], [67], [81], [105] ff., [139], [142], [190], [194], [247]
• Eunuchs by birth, in India, [69], [117], [155]
• Europe, adventures in, [186] ff.
• Evening with a gang, [78]
• Expelled from university, [140]
• F
• Fairie apprenticeship, [77] ff.
  • by destiny, [29], [35], [45], [74], [76]
  • defined, [7]
  • in all communities, [33], [156]
  • other, [32], [33], [125], [155]
  • qualifications, [119], [120], [189], [209]
  • sobriquets, [155]
• Faith-cure tried, [68]
• Farewell to forts, [216]
  • Fourteenth Street, [134]
  • low-class fairie period, [157]
  • Mulberry Street, [99]
• Fear of slums, [146], [176]
• Fellatio, at age of twelve, [39]
  • defence of, [90], [106] ff.
  • defined, [89], [90], [92]
  • early opinions of, [42]
  • in infancy, [30] ff.
  • in early youth, [39]
  • its genesis, [15], [29]
  • not a sin, [106] ff.
  • not rare, [92]
  • obsession declines, [230]
  • prescribed by physician, [81], [105]
• Female and infant impersonation natural, [19], [209]
• Female brain in male body, [19], [246]
• Female-impersonation, [10], [19], [31], [36], [62], [64], [85], [98], [111], [118], [119], [120], [143], [156], [191], [202], [225], [237]
• Female-impersonation sprees, [62] ff., [71], [77] ff., [85], [101] ff., [111], [122], [128], [133], [147] ff., [151] ff., [154] ff., [157], [167] ff., [178] ff., [180] ff., [191] ff., [201] ff., [225]
• Feminine apparel, yearning for, [36], [103]
  • stamp on author, [10]–12, [13], [36]–38, [248]–250
• Femininity, sensitiveness over, [37], [48]
• Fetishes, [49], [50], [206]
• First catch, [72]
  • encounter with Mars, [111]
  • full knowledge, [57]
  • half of open career ends, [188]
  • knowledge of N. Y. professionals, [78]
  • knowledge of other adult inverts, [53]
  • nocturnal ramble, [61]
  • reading about inverts, [70]
  • robbery and assault, [65]
  • self-knowledge, [46]
• Flirtations of boyhood, [36], [37], [43]
• Forced into breeches, [35]
• Fort X, debut at, [191]
• Fort Y, debut at, [202]
• Fort Z men cultivated, [225] ff.
• Fourteenth Street period, [122] ff.
• Frequency of fairie-ism, [151]
  • of passive inversion, [2], [34]
• Freshman year, [47] ff.
• G
• Gethsemane, author’s, [46]
• Girl-boy playmates, [32]
• Glimpses into Hell’s Kitchen, [62], [167]
• Gonorrhea, [126], [190]
• Grapes conduce syphilis, [234]
• Gynander, [28]
• H
• Hair system of author, [11], [13], [124], [125], [199]
• Half-murdered, [228]
• Haunted by sensual images, [59]
• Hecatontandry, [193]
• Hell’s Kitchen, glimpses into, [62] ff., [167]
• Hermaphrodism, types of, [8], [10], [33], [70]
• Hermaphroditos, [5]
• High-class fairieship, [122] ff.
• How marriage bond was cemented, [83]
• Hyperæsthesia, author’s, [94]
• I
• Incognito adventures inevitable, [137]
• In college gymnasium, [103]
• Infant fairie, [30] ff.
• Infantilism, psychical (See Babyishness)
• Innocent in red-light district, [66]
• Instinct proven irresistible, [105], [174], [175]
• Inter femora defined, [95]
• In the lair of a strumpet, [102]
• In the slums in my best, [101]
• Introspective, [1]
• Inversion, cause, [18]
  • frequency of, [2], [34]
  • not sodomy, [21]
  • promotes music, [33]
• Inverts, forbearance due, [109]
  • good actors, [118] ff., [156]
  • occupying eminent positions, [91], [175]
  • two kinds, [20]
• Irresponsibility, dawning sense of, [51]
• I touch bottom, [143]
• J
• Jail, reflections in, [113]
• Jennie J. encounters R.W.’s associates, [164]
• Jennie June is introduced, [62]
• K
• Krafft-Ebing on androgynes, [6]
• Kurella’s theory of inversion, [22]
• L
• Legal injustice to inverts, [23], [24], [133], [136], [229]
• Letters, sample, [201], [210], [214]
• Liquor vitæ as medicament, [93]
• Looked upon as girl, [10], [48], [85], [120], [128], [192], [204], [206], [218], [222]
• Low-class fairieship, [142] ff.
• M
• Manuscript of autobiography stolen, [241]
• Manustupration, [38], [41], [97]
• Medicine, recourse to, [47], [73], [81]
• Melancholia, [32], [45], [46], [48], [54], [58], [67], [69], [70], [75], [104], [109], [136], [141], [173], [176], [230], [235], [238], [239], [241], [245]
• Mental acumen, [38], [93], [114], [123], [139], [140]
• Mental characteristics, [12], [14]–17
• Method of leading up, [63], [181]
• Middle life reached, [238]
• Milites easiest of conquests, [117]
• Model pupil, [38]
• Monandry, periods of, [138], [237], [240]
• Moral paragon outside venery, [44], [121], [131], [136], [189], [242]
• Morality judged by others, [25], [44], [81], [140]
• Mujerados among red men, [70], [156]
• Mulberry Street period, [77] ff.
  • farewell to, [99]
  • night on, [85]
• Muscle dance, [15], [166]
• Music, effect of, [116]
• N
• Nature of satisfaction, [91], [97]
• Nature’s aim in androgynism, [88], [108], [243]
• No alcohol, no syphilis, [234]
• Nymphomania, [59], [60], [96], [104], [142], [159], [173], [174], [195]
• O
• Open career ends, [231]
• Opinion of inversion, prevalent, [25], [75], [110], [140]
• Outcast period, [141] ff.
• P
• Pædicatio dangerous, [82], [96], [158]
  • defined, [92], [96]
• Parentage, [27]
• Persecution of inverts, [130], [132], [149], [172], [227], [235]
• Petit-jesus, etymology, [8]
• Physical traits, [12], [13], [35], [48], [248]
• Physicians consulted, [47], [73], [81]
• Pickpocketing, [101], [145], [203], [228]
• Police, encounters with, [112], [122], [132], [145], [178], [193], [207], [229]
• Polyandry vs. monandry, [88]
• Polyglottism and inversion, [17]
• Popularity and fame achieved, [205]
• Potassium iodide antidote vs. ill effects, [95]
• Prayers for feminization, [41]
  • virility, [46], [67], [68]
• Pregnancy, fear of, [43]
• Private secretary period, [173] ff.
• Professional fairies, [122], [125], [143], [155]
• Pursued by women, [13]
• Q
• Quarters of the city frequented, [76], [122], [131], [143]
• R
• Race for life, [170]
• Raison d’étre of inverts, [88], [108], [243]
• Recognized by Jennie J’s associates, [162] ff.
• Recognized by Ralph W’s associates, [162] ff.
• Reform, [158]
• Rejected by Providence from ministry, [76], [161]
• Relatives, abnormal, [28]
• Religion unavailing, [49], [56], [58], [68], [159]
• Religious prodigy, [35], [45], [58], [68], [248]
  • worker, [35], [45], [47], [56], [80], [81], [159], [162], [230]
• Reveries, youthful, [40]
• Robbers, [64], [78], [102], [145], [149], [169], [179], [193], [214], [241]
• Rockies, in, [235]
• Ruffians’ attitude, [63]
• S
• Sadism, [98], [214]
• St. Vitus’ dance, [37]
• School life, [38]
• Second nocturnal ramble, [71]
• Semen ingested, effect of, [93]
• Semi-invalid, author a, [244]
• Senior year, [122] ff.
• Sex is psychical primarily, [22]
  • scale, [9]
• Sexes not sharply divided, [8]
• Sexual determinants of author, [10]–13
  • lot compared with normal, [243]
  • precocity, [30]
  • preferences, [87], [127], [142], [149]
  • reveries, youthful, [40]
  • starvation, [104]
• Sexually abnormal relatives, [28]
• Singing, fairie, [78], [155], [192]
• Soldiers deliciae, [111] ff., [138], [147], [189] ff., [236], [240]
  • demigods, [50], [115], [190], [192], [202], [206]
  • European, [187]
  • in camp, [116] ff.
  • in squad-room, [191], [192]
  • persecution by, [193], [225] ff.
  • susceptibility to homosexuality, [117] ff., [191]
• Songs, [217] ff.
• Sophomore and junior years, [69] ff.
• Spermatorrhea, [194], [196]
• Spied on, [225]
• Spree, preliminaries to, [177]
• Squad-room, evening in, [192]
• Squaw-men in red race, [70], [156]
• Stamping ground as low-class fairie, [144]
• Steamboat flirtation, [180]
• Stuyvesant Square, debut in, [131]
• Suicide contemplated, [32], [37], [46], [58], [69], [106], [109], [113], [141], [173], [235]
• Syphilis, [126], [127], [150], [231] ff.
• T
• Taste for learning, [17], [35], [38], [51], [125], [139]
• Tattooing, [87], [192]
• Teasing, subject of, [14], [208], [212], [248]
• Temptations peculiar to inverts, [39], [43], [44], [48]–51, [55], [74], [235]
• Tobacco, never used, [77]
• Two-sided life, [119]
• Typical chase, [153]
• Typical night on side street, [151]
• U
• Undersized, [13], [35]
• Usual treatment of inverts, [75], [110]
• V
• Venereal disease, [126], [127], [150], [190], [231] ff.
• Venery, excessive, harmful, [150]
• Verdicts of pastor and alienist, [81]
• Voice, singing, [11], [27], [78], [192]
  • speaking, [11]
• W
• Warts, venereal, [126]
• Weight, author’s, [198]
• Whistling, inability, [37]
• Who cultivate androgynes, [32], [33], [86], [117], [243]
• Why a double life, [174]
• Why an autobiography, [1], [3], [7], [35]
• Why fairie career ended, [231], [235]
• Wilde, Oscar, [20], [251]
• Y
• Youthful appearance, [16], [189], [244]
• Year 1874 on, [27] ff.
  • 1883 on, [38] ff.
  • 1889 on, [45] ff.
  • 1891 on, [47] ff.
  • 1893, [77] ff.
  • 1894–5, [99] ff.
  • 1896, [128] ff.
  • 1897, [158] ff.
  • 1898, [180] ff.
  • 1899–01, [189] ff.
  • 1902, [203] ff.
  • 1903–4, [210] ff.
  • 1905–6, [216] ff.
  • 1907–18, [235] ff.

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TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES

1. Silently corrected obvious typographical errors and variations in spelling.
2. Retained archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings as printed.