Windsor. For strength Windlesor or Winsor is supposed to be the chéefe, a castell builded in time past by king Arthur, or before him by Aruiragus, as it is thought, and repared by Edward the third, who erected also a notable college there. After him diuerse of his successours haue bestowed excéeding charges vpon the same, which notwithstanding are farre surmounted by the quéenes maiestie now liuing, who hath appointed huge summes of monie to be emploied vpon the ornature and alteration of the mould, according to the forme of building vsed in our daies, which is more for pleasure than for either profit or safegard. Such also hath béene the estimation of this place, that diuerse kings haue not onelie béene interred there, but also made it the chiefe house of assemblie, and creation of the knights of the honorable order of the garter, than the which there is nothing in this land more magnificent and statelie.
Gréenewich. Greenewich was first builded by Humfreie duke of Glocester, vpon the Thames side foure miles east from London, in the time of Henrie the sixt, and called Pleasance. Afterwards it was greatlie inlarged by king Edw. 4. garnished by king Hen. 7. and finallie made perfect by king Hen. 8. the onelie Phenix of his time for fine and curious masonrie.
Dartford. Not farre from this is Dartford, and not much distant also from the southside of the said streame, somtime a nonnerie builded by Edward the third, but now a verie commodious palace, wherevnto it was also Eltham. conuerted by K. Henrie the eight. Eltham (as I take it) was builded by king Henrie the third, if not before. There are beside these moreouer diuerse other. But what shall I néed to take vpon me to repeat all, and tell what houses the quéenes maiestie hath? sith all is hirs, and when it pleaseth hir in the summer season to recreat hir selfe abroad, and view the estate of the countrie, and heare the complaints of hir poore commons iniuried by hir vniust officers or their substitutes, euerie noble mans house is hir palace, where shee continueth during pleasure, and till shée returne againe to some of hir owne, in which she remaineth so long as pleaseth hir.
Of the court. The court of England, which necessarilie is holden alwaies where the prince lieth, is in these daies one of the most renowmed and magnificent courts that are to be found in Europe. For whether you regard the rich and infinit furniture of household, order of officers, or the interteinement of such strangers as dailie resort vnto the same, you shall not find manie equall therevnto, much lesse one excelling it in anie maner of wise. I might here (if I would, or had sufficient disposition of matter concerned of the same) make a large discourse of such honorable ports, of such graue councellors, and noble personages, as giue their dailie attendance vpon the quéenes maiestie there. I could in like sort set foorth a singular commendation of the vertuous beautie, or beautifull vertues of such ladies and gentlewomen as wait vpon hir person, betweene whose amiable countenances and costlinesse of attire, there séemeth to be such a dailie conflict and contention, as that it is verie difficult for me to gesse, whether of the twaine shall beare awaie the preheminence. This further is not to be omitted, to the singular English courtiers the best learned & the worst liuers. commendation of both sorts and sexes of our courtiers here in England, that there are verie few of them, which haue not the vse and skill of sundrie speaches, beside an excellent veine of writing before time not regarded. Would to God the rest of their liues and conuersations were correspondent to these gifts! for as our common courtiers (for the most part) are the best lerned and indued with excellent gifts, so are manie of them the worst men when they come abroad, that anie man shall either heare or read of. Trulie it is a rare thing with vs now, to heare of a courtier which hath but his owne language. And to saie how many gentlewomen and ladies there are, that beside sound knowledge of the Gréeke and Latine toongs, are thereto no lesse skilfull in the Spanish, Italian, and French, or in some one of them, it resteth not in me: sith I am persuaded, that as the noble men and gentlemen doo surmount in this behalfe, so these come verie little or nothing at all behind them for their parts, which industrie God continue, and accomplish that which otherwise is wanting!
Beside these things I could in like sort set downe the waies and meanes, wherby our ancient ladies of the court doo shun and auoid idlenesse, some of them exercising their fingers with the needle, other in caulworke, diuerse in spinning of silke, some in continuall reading either of the holie scriptures, or histories of our owne or forren nations about vs, and diuerse in writing volumes of their owne, or translating of other mens into our English and Latine toong, whilest the yoongest sort in the meane time applie their lutes, citharnes, prickesong, and all kind of musike, which they vse onelie for recreation sake, when they haue leisure, and are free from attendance vpon the quéenes maiestie, or such as they belong vnto. How manie of the eldest sort also are skilfull in surgerie and distillation of waters, beside sundrie other artificiall practises perteining to the ornature and commendations of their bodies, I might (if I listed to deale further in this behalfe) easilie declare, but I passe ouer such maner of dealing, least I should séeme to glauer, and currie fauour with some of them. Neuerthelesse this I will generallie saie of them all, that as ech of them are cuning in somthing wherby they kéepe themselues occupied in the court, so there is in maner none of them, but when they be at home, can helpe to supplie the ordinarie want of the kitchen with a number of delicat dishes of their owne deuising, wherein the Portingall is their chéefe counsellor, as some of them are most commonlie with the clearke of the kitchen, who vseth (by a tricke taken vp of late) to giue in a bréefe rehearsall of such and so manie dishes as are to come in at euerie course throughout the whole seruice in the dinner or supper while: which bill some doo call a memoriall, other a billet, but some a fillet, bicause such are commonlie hanged on the file, and kept by the ladie or gentlewoman vnto some other purpose. But whither am I digressed?
I might finallie describe the large allowances in offices, and yearelie liueries, and therevnto the great plentie of gold and siluer plate, the seuerall peeces whereof are commonlie so great and massie, and the quantitie therof so abundantlie seruing all the houshold, that (as I suppose) Cyniras, Cresus, and Crassus had not the like furniture: naie if Midas were now liuing & once againe put to his choise, I thinke he could aske no more, or rather not halfe so much as is there to be seene and vsed. But I passe ouer to make such needlesse discourses, resoluing my selfe, that euen in this also, as in all the rest, the excéeding mercie and louing kindnesse of God dooth wonderfullie appéere towards vs, in that he hath so largelie indued vs with these his so ample benefits.
In some great princes courts beyond the seas, & which euen for that cause are likened vnto hell by diuerse learned writers that haue spent a great part of their time in them, as Henricus Cornelius Agrippa, one (for example) who in his epistle "Ad aulicum quendam," saith thus: "An non in inferno es amice, qui es in aula, vbi dæmonum habitatio est, qui illic suis artibus humana licèt effigie regnant, atque vbi scelerum schola est, & animarum iactura ingens, ac quicquid vspiam est perfidiæ ac doli, quicquid crudelitatis & inclemētiæ, quicquid effrænatæ superbiæ, & rapacis auariciæ, quicquid obscenæ libidinis, fædissimæ impudicitiæ, quicquid nefandæ impietatis, & morum pessimorum, totum illic aceruatur cumulatissimè, vbi stupra, raptus, incestus, adulteria, principum & nobilium ludi sunt, vbi fastus & tumor, ira, liuor, fædáque cupido cum socijs suis imperauit, vbi criminum omnium procellæ virtutúmque omniū ínenarrabile naufragium, &c." In such great princes courts (I saie) it is a world to sée what lewd behauiour is vsed among diuerse of those that resort vnto the same, and what whoredome, swearing, ribaldrie, atheisme, dicing, carding, carowsing, drunkennesse, gluttonie, quareling, and such like inconueniences doo dailie take hold, and sometimes euen among those, in whose estates the like behauiour is least conuenient (whereby their talke is verified which say that the thing increaseth and groweth in the courts of princes sauing vertue, which in such places dooth languish and dailie vade away) all which enormities are either vtterlie expelled out of the court of England, or else so qualified by the diligent endeuour of the chiefe officers of hir graces household, that seldome are anie of these things apparantlie séene there, without due reprehension, and such seuere correction as belongeth to those trespasses. Finallie to auoid idlenesse, and preuent sundrie transgressions, otherwise likelie to be committed and doone, such order is taken, that euerie office hath either a bible, or the bookes of the acts and monuments of the church of England, or both, beside some histories and chronicles lieng therein, for the exercise of such as come into the same: whereby the stranger that entereth into the court of England vpon the sudden, shall rather imagine himselfe to come into some publike schoole of the vniuersities, where manie giue eare to one that readeth, than into a princes palace, if you conferre the same with those of other nations. Would to God all honorable personages would take example of hir graces godlie dealing in this behalfe, and shew their conformitie vnto these hir so good beginnings! which if they would, then should manie grieuous offenses (wherewith God is highlie displeased) be cut off and restreined, which now doo reigne excéedinglie, in most noble and gentlemens houses, wherof they sée no paterne within hir graces gates.
Traines of attendants. I might speake here of the great traines and troopes of seruing men also, which attend vpon the nobilitie of England in their seuerall liueries, and with differences of cognisances on their sléeues, whereby it is knowen to whome they apperteine. I could also set downe what a goodlie sight it is to sée them muster in the court, which being filled with them dooth yéeld the contemplation of a noble varietie vnto the beholder, much like to the shew of the pecocks taile in the full beautie, or of some medow garnished with infinit kinds and diuersitie of pleasant floures. But I passe ouer the rehearsall hereof to other men, who more delite in vaine amplification than I, and séeke to be more curious in these points than I professe to be.
The discipline of firme peace also that is mainteined within a certeine compasse of the princes palace, is such, as is nothing inferiour to that we sée dailie practised in the best gouerned holds & fortresses. And such is the seuere punishment of those that strike within the limits prohibited, that without all hope of mercie, benefit of clergie, or sanctuarie, they are sure to loose their right hands at a stroke, and that in verie solemne maner, the forme whereof I will set downe, and then make an end of this chapter, to deale with other matters.
Striking within the court and palace of the prince. At such time therefore as the partie transgressing is conuicted by a sufficient inquest impanelled for the same purpose, and the time come of the execution of the sentence, the sergeant of the kings wood-yard prouideth a square blocke, which he bringeth to some appointed place, and therewithall a great beetle, staple, and cords, wherewith to fasten the hand of the offendor vnto the said blocke, vntill the whole circumstance of his execution be performed. The yeoman of the scullarie likewise for the time being, dooth prouide a great fire of coales hard by the blocke, wherein the searing irons are to be made readie against the chiefe surgeon to the prince or his deputie shall occupie the same. Upon him also dooth the sergeant or chiefe farrour attend with those irons, whose office is to deliuer them to the said surgeon when he shall be redie by searing to vse the same. The groome of the salarie for the time being or his deputie is furthermore appointed to be readie with vineger and cold water, and not to depart from the place vntill the arme of the offendor be bound vp and fullie dressed. And as these things are thus prouided, so the sergeant surgeon is bound from time to time to be readie to execute his charge, and seare the stumpe, when the hand is taken from it. The sergeant of the cellar is at hand also with a cup of red wine, and likewise the chiefe officer of the pantrie with manchet bread to giue vnto the said partie after the execution doone, and the stumpe seared, as the sergeant of the ewerie is with clothes, wherein to wind and wrap vp the arme, the yeoman of the poultrie with a cocke to laie vnto it, the yeoman of the chandrie with seared cloths, and finallie the maister cooke or his deputie with a sharpe dressing knife, which he deliuereth at the place of execution to the sergeant of the larder, who dooth hold it vpright in his hand, vntill the execution be performed by the publike officer appointed therevnto. And this is the maner of punishment ordeined for those that strike within the princes palace, or limits of the same. Which should first haue beene executed on sir Edmund Kneuet, in the yeare 1541. But when he had made great sute to saue his right hand for the further seruice of the king in his warres, and willinglie yeelded to forgo his left, in the end the king pardoned him of both, to no small benefit of the offendor, and publication of the bountifull nature that remained in the prince. The like priuilege almost is giuen to churches and churchyards, although in maner of punishment great difference doo appeere. For he that bralleth or quarelleth in either of them, is by and by suspended "Ab ingressu ecclesiæ," vntill he be absolued: as he is also that striketh with the fist, or laieth violent hands vpon anie whome so euer. But if he happen to smite with staffe, dagger, or anie maner of weapon, & the same be sufficientlie found by the verdict of twelue men at his arrainement, beside excommunication, he is sure to loose one of his eares without all hope of release. But if he be such a one as hath beene twise condemned and executed, whereby he hath now none eares, then is he marked with an hot iron vpon the chéeke, and by the letter F, which is seared déepe into his flesh, he is from thencefoorth noted as a common barratour and fraie maker, and therevnto remaineth excommunicate, till by repentance he deserue to be absolued. To strike a clearke also (that is to saie) a minister, is plaine excommunication, and the offendor not to be absolued but by the prince or his especiall cōmission. Such also is the generall estate of the excōmunicate in euerie respect, that he can yéeld no testimonie in anie matter so long as he so standeth. No bargaine or sale that he maketh is auaileable in law, neither anie of his acts whatsoeuer pleadable, wherby he liueth as an outlaw & a man altogither out of the princes protection, although it be not lawfull to kill him, nor anie man otherwise outlawed, without the danger of fellonie.