The one great fact which pervades the universe is action. The very existence of Love demands its activity, and, hence, the highest happiness is attained by a normal and legitimate development of this element of our being. The heart demands an object upon which to lavish the largess of its affection. In the absence of all others, a star, a flower, or even a bird, will receive this homage. The bird warbles a gay answer to the well-known voice, the flower repays the careful cultivator by displaying its richest tints, the star twinkles a bright "good evening" to the lonely watcher, and yet withal there is an unsatisfied longing in the lover's heart, to which neither can respond; the desire to be loved! Hence, the perfect peace of reciprocated love. If its laws are violated, nature seeks revenge in the utter depression or prostration of the vital energies. Thus has the Divine Law-giver engraven His command on our very being. To love is, therefore, a duty, the fulfillment of which should engage our noblest powers.
This emotion manifests itself in several phases, prominent among which is filial affection, the natural harmonizer of society. Paternal love includes a new element—protection. Greater than either, and second only in fortitude to maternal affection, is
CONJUGAL LOVE.
"He is blest in Love alone
Who loves for years and loves but one."—HUNT.
With Swedenborg, we may assert, "that there is given love truly conjugal, which at this day is so rare, that it is not known what it is, and scarce that it is." The same author has defined this relation to be a union of Love and Wisdom. The fundamental law of conjugal love is fidelity to one love. God created but one Eve, and the essential elements of paternal and maternal love pre-suppose and necessitate, for their normal development, the Love of one only. Again, Love is the sun of woman's existence. Only under its influence does she unfold the noblest powers of her being. Woman's intuitions should therefore be taken as the true love-gauge. If she desire a plurality of loves, it must be a law of her nature; but is communism the desire of our wives and daughters? No! Every act which renders woman dear to us, denounces such an idea and reveals the exclusive sacredness of her Love. As condemning promiscuity in this relation, we may cite the lovers' pledges and oaths of fidelity, the self-perpetuity of Love itself, the common instincts of mankind, as embodied in public sentiment, and the inherent consciousness that first love should he kept inviolable forever. Again, Love is conservative. It clings tenaciously to all the memories connected with its first object. The scenes consecrated to "Love's young dream" are sacred to every heart. The woodland with its winding paths and arbors, the streamlet bordered with drooping violets and dreamy pimpernel, the clouds, and even "the very tones in which we spoke," are indelibly imprinted on the memory. There is also the "mine and thine" intuition of love. This sentiment is displayed in every thought and act of the lover. Every pleasure is insipid unless shared by the beloved; selfish and exacting to all others, yet always generous and forgiving to the adored. "Mine and thine, dearest," is the language of Conjugal Love.
The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may be in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine, than that of the maiden. Passion is lost; the emotions predominate.
The connubial relation is not an institution; it was born of the necessities and desires of our nature. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and so God created for him "an helpmate." Again, "Male and female created He them;" therefore, sex is as divine as the soul. It is often perverted, but so is reason, aye, so is devotion.
The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life. It may be the source of infinite happiness or the seal of a living death. "Love is blind" is an old saying, verified by thousands of ill-assorted unions. Many unhappy marriages are traceable to one or both of two sources, Physical Weaknesses and Masquerading. Many are the candidates for marriage who are rendered unfit therefor from weaknesses of their sexual systems, induced by the violation of well-established physical laws.
We cannot too strongly urge upon parents and guardians the imperative duty of teaching those youths who look to them for instruction, in all matters which pertain to their future well-being such lessons as are embraced in the chapter of this book entitled, "Hygiene of the Reproductive Organs." By attending to such lessons as will give the child a knowledge of the physiology and hygiene of his whole system, the errors into which so many of the young fall, and much of the misery which is so often the dregs of the hymeneal cup, will be avoided.
Masquerading is a modern accomplishment. Girls wear tight shoes, burdensome skirts, and corsets, all of which prove very injurious to their health. At the age of seventeen or eighteen, our young ladies are sorry specimens of womankind, and "palpitators," cosmetics, and all the modern paraphernalia of fashion are required to make them appear fresh and blooming. Man is equally to blame. A devotee to all the absurd devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress makes the man." But physical deformities are of far less importance than moral imperfections. Frankness is indispensable in love. Each should know the other's faults and virtues. Marriage will certainly disclose them; the idol falls and the deceived lover is transformed into a cold, unloving husband or wife. By far the greater number of unhappy marriages are attributable to this cause. In love especially, honesty is policy and truth will triumph.