"The one amazing thing which had horrified him inexpressibly during the case was the fact that his learned brother Counsel, Mr. Gentle Gammon, had so far forgotten his professional dignity as to declare that this Lion actually moved and spoke at times. He feared, and also he lamented, that his learned brother must be approaching his dotage. Yet in order to satisfy each and every one in Court, he, Mr. Dreadful, had sent an urgent and special messenger for a first-class veterinary surgeon, having the letters M.R.C.V.S. after his name, and also for one of the keepers belonging to the lions' house in the Zoological Gardens. Their evidence would now be taken."
Upon the appearance of the M.R.C.V.S. in the witness-box the Learned
Judge saw fit to interfere.
Judge. "Have you ever attended a lion professionally?"
M.R.C.V.S. "Never, your Lordship."
Judge (sagaciously). "Then what do you know about them?"
M.R.C.V.S. "I have attended other animals, your Lordship."
Judge. "Very likely, very likely, but a live ass is a different thing to a dead lion." (Laughter in Court.)
Counsel (for the Defendant). "Better than a dead lion, your Lordship." (More laughter.)
Judge. "Not in this case." (Loud laughter.) "The learned Counsel for the Defence need not waste the time of the Court in hearing the opinion of either Veterinary Surgeons or experts from the Zoo. What the Learned Counsel ought to do is to produce Pygmalion." (Titters in Court.)
Mr. Dreadful, K.C., rising to protest. "My Lud, Pygmalion is a mythical personage, and your Ludship knows he is of a necessity shrouded in silence."