"Sculpture is evidently not your strong point."

"Neither are ridiculous fairy tales!"

"You wish us to believe that you, a writer, are only capable of dealing with facts."

"I have not encountered any facts in this case at all yet, and I utterly fail to understand what anybody here can mean by facts after this afternoon's exhibition."

Judge (annoyed). "Tut, tut! Facts are facts: this is a Court of Justice: I am the Judge; would you, for instance, regard me, me as a fact?"

Mr. Learnéd Bore. "No, as a figure-head."

His Lordship shrieks in his highest falsetto—

"Remove this witness at once, he is flippant. Order him to stand down, or I shall commit him for contempt."

Sensation in Court. Mr. Learnéd Bore leaves the witness-box, hurriedly, and looking slightly scared.

Mr. Dreadful, K.C., wishing to cover up the faux pas as quickly as possible, rises and announces in explosive tones—