"'Ain't a miser a bloke 'oo grabs all wot 'ee gits?' I suggested; 'if so 'ee wouldn't do nothink 'ansome for Sam and me; the only copper as we would git art of 'im would be the ones 'eed call up ter give us in charge. A miser don't seem no good to us, as they wants change out o' nothing.'
"'My dear little boy,' said Lal, 'your language may be pithy, but it is so incorrect; your metaphors, moreover, are so mixed. I think,' said the Lion, 'it is high time I took the Miser in hand; he is capable of better things, and if success cannot give him the milk of human kindness, I must try what sterner measures can effect. Get down now,' continued the Lion, 'and both of you slip round the other side of the pedestal and hide yourselves. I expect the Miser to pass this way shortly, and you are not to interrupt on any account, or come back until he has gone away, you understand.'
"'Yuss, Lal, anyfink to oblige. Come on, Sam, and may 'is 'eart soften,' I said.
"Well, about a quarter of an hour afterwards, sure enough, a tall, thin, elderly gentleman, with grey hair, in a top hat and frock coat, came along, and he paused when he got to Lal, and looking round first to see that he was not observed, he stopped beside Lal, and greeted him with, 'Well, my old friend, and how are you this evening? do you feel inclined to converse with me, or will you remain immovable, silent and cold as you sometimes choose to be? Indeed I hope you feel disposed to talk kindly to me, for I am far from happy, in fact it never entered into my calculations that a highly successful man could ever be quite so miserable.' After saying so much as this the elderly gentleman paused, and observing that Lal had not taken any notice of his remarks whatever, added in a lower tone, as if speaking to himself, 'Ah, not communicable to-night, only bronze and stone, eh?'
"Then the Lion spoke. 'I am not the only thing of bronze and stone. Have you ever thought how the definition might perhaps apply to yourself, for instance, Alderman Simon Gold?'
"The tall thin gentleman appeared to be slightly taken aback by the
Lion's words.
"'You have a front of bronze,' continued the Lion, 'and as hard; you have a heart of stone and as useless.'
"'It seems to me, my old friend,' replied the tall thin gentleman, 'that you have some grievance against me by the hard words you are giving me. I came to you for comfort, but you don't seem to have anything of the sort to bestow. However, I suppose all of us have our ill humours.'
"'True,' assented the Lion, 'save that some of us never change that ill humour, but continue with it all through life. You yourself are one of those people.'
"'Humph! I certainly have displeased you,' vouchsafed the tall thin gentleman; 'how I really cannot imagine.'