It will be understood that I offer these suggestions on the understanding that we find ourselves allied to a country in which there will be some approximation, in the amenities offered to L. of C., to those enjoyed in the larger cities in France during the war. Otherwise, frankly, nothing doing! I have been studying the appendices to Splitz’s book on the Russian Army[6]; and the feeding is hardly up to what I might call a civilised war standard. Thus, on L. of C., the weekly ration allowance appears to be four gold roubles’ worth of straw soup, three poods of lycopodium seed cake, and two samovars of liquorice water, together with thirty-seven foot-calories of bonemeal and a packet of spearmint—which, although it compares favourably with the diet of Divisional and Corps Commanders in that country[7], has but little attraction for the gourmet. And in any case what about the residuum? After all, we can’t all of us expect carte blanche to send trains backwards and forwards—passed to you, please, and to you, please, and so on. Even on the grander scale, there’ll never be room for more than a million or so R.T.O.’s all told (and that will include the other side). Something’s got to be done for the rest of us. Even the L. of C. troops will be up to full strength at last. They’ll absorb a number of millions; but they’ll fill up eventually. Even the essential public services at home can’t be swelled indefinitely. There will come a time when everything useful has been filled up, and there are still people left over.
Well, we can’t all be satisfied in this world. It was never intended that we should. And, so far as I can see, the overplus will have to make themselves comfortable in the trenches. It will be a galling thought to them that they’re poked away there out of everything, with no real work to do. But it doesn’t really matter, for we’ll win the war all right.
We’ll win it in spite of them.
FOOTNOTES:
[2] I except, of course, Drigg, Bootlecut, Volmer, and their insignificant following.
[3] The Psychology of Post-Metempsychosis. J. Swift Leggitt. The Mangy Press. 5s.
[4] Sir Cuthbert Limpitt, K.B.E., a former Director of the Ministry of Misinformation.
[5] Berlin, 1921. Published in an English translation under the title Military Service and its Avoidance. Blottow and Windupp, 1922. 7s. 6d.
[6] The Russian Army, its Organisations and Morale. By Hermann Splitz. Boonkum and Co., New York. Two vols. $4.
[7] And that is only in the larger cities such as Yekanakaterinakanaka. In the smaller towns and villages the amount would be much less!