Things, therefore, are held up until the producer and author can come to an agreement. But on one thing the author is adamant. Oskarashi has got to come to a sticky end. The author absolutely refuses to allow the fellow to be perpetuated in another play.
THE VODKA BOTTLE
(A Play of Russian Life in the manner of Anton Tchekov.)
The study of Ivan Ivanovitch Bougárov, a wealthy landowner. Bougárov is alone at the desk. A vodka bottle and a measuring glass are at his elbow.
Bougárov (sniffing the glass): It’s strong enough, I think.... Brr, what a filthy stench!... Where are the directions? (He gropes for a piece of paper.) Here they are. Sprinkle it on toasted cheese, and leave it lying about in the vicinity of their holes. (Examining the bottle.) That ought to be sufficient for all the rats in Little Russia as the saying is. (Enter Stepan Stepanovitch Rumbunkski.)
Rumbunkski: Good morning, honoured Ivan Ivanovitch.
Bougárov: Little Fathers, Stepan Stepanovitch, how you startled me.
Rumbunkski: Your nerves are upset, my darling. You must give up the vodka, and all that.
Bougárov: But my dear little Stepan Stepanovitch, you are wrong; because you see, my dearest little Stepan Stepanovitch, I don’t drink vodka now, and so it can’t be vodka.
Rumbunkski: Don’t drink vodka?