Many young men, again, think it no harm to keep company with a young woman--to walk with her, as they say--without ever having any serious thoughts of marrying her at all. Now, this again, is wrong--all wrong. It is one of the links in the devil's chain, with which he seeks to bind the souls for whom Christ died. It is one of the many ways by which he tries to draw souls into his net by teaching them to do wrong, all the while pretending that there is no harm. Therefore, my advice is, don't keep company with any young woman you do not mean to marry in the end.
And now one word upon the choice of a wife, for this is most important. I do not think a man can be too careful in this respect if he wishes to have a happy home. And this is one of the great benefits of courtship--it enables a man to get an insight into the character of her whom he intends to make his wife. Now, of course, there are always many things which must be left to the man to choose for himself; and different people will choose very differently. But there are, I think, certain qualities which, if they were to be found oftener in wives, would completely change the tone of many of our English homes. Such qualities are good-temper, cleanliness, cheerfulness, patience, contentment, and love. I might name many more, but I have no time to speak of them now. But though at first sight it may seem strange, the qualities which I have named above are those we most rarely meet with.
But, above all things, it is essential that a man should have a godly wife, first for his own sake, then for his children's. One who will look upon prosperity as the gift of a kind Father, Who thinks of the happiness of His children; and upon adversity, if it come, as part of a necessary discipline, sent by the same loving Friend. Then the man may confidently and hopefully take such an one to be his wedded wife, "to love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other[#]," keep himself only unto her, so long as both shall live. And then when the weary days of sickness, or the solemn hour of dying shall come to him, the wife will be there to nurse the sick, or close the dying eyes, and to whisper words of comfort to the departing soul.
[#] Marriage Service.
MARRIAGE.
"Husband dear, 'twas your loving hand
Showed the way to that better land,
Oh! how often you cheered me then;
'Things will be better, dear wife, again.'
Hand in hand, when life was May,
Hand in hand now our hair is grey,
Shadow and sun for every one,
As the years roll on.
Hand in hand, when the long night-tide
Gently covers us, side by side,
We will trust, though we know not when,
God will be with us for ever then!"
Before entering on this great and solemn step in life, every man should read through the service in the Prayer Book for the solemnization of matrimony. Therein you will see with what awe and reverence it is spoken of, as a thing "not to be undertaken lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God[#]."
[#] Marriage Service.
You will find that it was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort of the man and woman, that they ought each to receive from each other both in prosperity and adversity. Each man and woman is solemnly reminded of "the dreadful day of judgment," when "the secrets of all hearts will be disclosed[#]." Could any words be more solemn, or full of warning? And yet how many enter upon marriage with but little thought of the solemn vow they then take before God. And this, I think, is quite sufficient to account for the unhappy results of so many marriages; for the bitterness and quarrels between husband and wife, and the frequent applications for divorce. I have already spoken of how careful you ought to be in making choice of a wife during the days of courtship. Many men are taken with a pretty face, or a fine dress, or a bright, cheery manner; but unless there is a good, honest, God-fearing heart underneath, you may be sure you will not be happy with her when trials and troubles come, as come they surely must into the lives of each of us.
[#] Marriage Service.