The seventh Chapter.
That vaine and deceitfull hope is a great cause why men are seduced by this alluring art, and that there labours therein are bootelesse, &c.
ITHERTO somewhat at large I have detected the knaverie of the art Alcumysticall, partlie by reasons, and partlie by examples: so that the thing it selfe maie no lesse appeare to the judiciall eie of the considerers;/262. than the bones and sinewes of a bodie anatomized, to the corporall eie of the beholders. Now it shall not be amisse nor impertinent, to treate somewhat of the nature of that vaine andOf vaine hope. frutelesse hope, which induceth and draweth men forward as it were with chordes, not onelie to the admiration, but also to the approbation of the same: in such sort that some are compelled rufullie to sing (as one in old time did, whether in token of good or ill lucke, I doo not now well remember) Spes & fortuna valete; Hope and good hap adieu.
No mervell then though Alcumystrie allure men so sweetlie, and intangle them in snares of follie; sith the baits which it useth is the hope of gold, the hunger wherof is by the poet termed Sacra, which some doo English, Holie; not understanding that it is rather to be interpreted, *Curssed* J. Cal. in Comment. upon Deut. serm. 127. pa. 781. col. 1. number. 40. or detestable, by the figure Acyron, when a word of an unproper signification is cast in a clause as it were a cloud: or by the figure Antiphrasis, when a word importeth a contrarie meaning to that which it commonlie hath. For what reason can there be, that the hunger of gold should be counted holie, the same having (as depending upon it) so manie milians of mischeefes and miseries: as treasons, theftes, adulteries, manslaughters, trucebreakings, perjuries, cousenages, and a great troope of other enormities, which were here too long/372. to rehearse. And if the nature of everie action be determinable by the end thereof,A maxime. then cannot this hunger be holie, but rather accurssed, which pulleth after it as it were with iron chaines such a band of outrages and enormities, as of all their labor, charge, care and cost, &c: they have nothing else left them in lieu of lucre, but onlie some few burned brickes of a ruinous fornace, a pecke or two of ashes, and such light stuffe, which they are forced peradventure in fine to sell, when beggerie hath arrested and laid his mace on their shoulders. As for all their gold, it is resolved In primam materiam, or rather In levem quendam fumulum, into a light smoke or fumigation of vapors, than the which nothing is more light, nothing lesse substantiall, spirits onelie excepted, out of whose nature and number these are not to be exempted.
The eight Chapter.
A continuation of the former matter, with a conclusion of the same.
HAT which I have declared before, by reasons, examples, and authorities, I will now prosecute and conclude by one other example; to the end that we, as others in former ages, maie judge of vaine hope accordinglie, and be no lesse circumspect to avoid the inconveniences therof, than Ulysses was warie to escape the incantations of Circes that old transforming witch. Which example of mine is drawne from Lewes theErasmus in colloq. cui titulus Convivium fabulosum. French king, the eleventh of that name, who being on a time at Burgundie, fell acquainted by occasion of hunting with one Conon, a clownish but yet an honest and hartie good fellow. For princes and great men de/light263. much in such plaine clubhutchens. The king oftentimes, by meanes of his game, used the countrimans house for his refreshing; and as noble men sometimes take pleasure in homelie and course things, so the king did not refuse to eate turnips and rape rootes in Conons cotage. Shortlie after king Lewes being at his pallace, void of troubles and disquietnesse, Conons wife/373. wild him to repaire to the court, to shew himselfe to the king, to put him in mind of the old intertainement which he had at his house, and to present him with some of the fairest and choisest rape rootes that she had in store. Conon seemed loth, alledging that he should but lose his labour: for princes (saith he) have other matters in hand, than to intend to thinke of such trifeling courtesies. But Conons wife overcame him, and persuaded him in the end, choosing a certeine number of the best and goodliest rape rootes that she had: which when she had given hir husband to carrie to the court, he set forward on his journie a good trudging pase.A hungrie bellie will not be brideled. But Conon being tempted by the waie, partlie with desire of eating, and partlie with the toothsomnes of the meate which he bare, that by little and little he devoured up all the roots saving one, which was a verie faire and a goodlie great one indeed. Now when Conon was come to the court, it was his lucke to stand in such a place, as the king passing by, and spieng the man, did well remember him, and commanded that he should be brought in. Conon verie cheerelie followed his guide hard at the heeles, and no sooner sawe the king, but bluntlie comming to him, reached out his hand, and presented the gift to his maiestie. The king received it with more cheerefulnes than it was offered, and bad one of those that stood next him, to take it, and laie it up among those things which he esteemed most, & had in greatest accompt. Then he had Conon to dine with him, and after dinner gave the countriman great thanks for his rape roote; who made no bones of the matter, but boldlie made challenge and claime to the kings promised courtesie. Whereupon the king commanded,A princelie largesse. that a thousand crownes should be given him in recompense for his roote.
The report of this bountifulnes was spred in short space over all the kings houshold: in so much as one of his courtiers, in hope of the like or a larger reward gave the king a verie proper ginnet. Whose drift the king perceiving, and judging that his former liberalitie to the clowne, provoked the courtier to this covetous attempt, tooke the ginnet verie thankefullie: and calling some of his noble men about him, began to consult with them, what mends he might make his servant for his horsse. Whiles this was a dooing, the courtier conceived passing good/374. hope of some princelie largesse, calculating and casting his cards in this maner; If his maiestie rewarded a sillie clowne so bountifullie for a simple rape roote, what will he doo to a jollie courtier for a gallent gennet? Whiles the king was debating the matter, and one said this, another that, and the courtier travelled all the while in vaine hope, at last saith the king, even upon the sudden; I have now bethought me what to bestowe upon him: and calling one of his nobles to him, whispered him in the eare, and willed him to fetch a thing, which he should find in his chamber wrapped up in silke. Sic ars deluditur arte.The roote is brought wrapped in silke, which the/264. king with his owne hands gave to the courtier, using these words therewithall, that he sped well, in so much as it was his good hap to have for his horsse a jewell that cost him a thousand crownes. The courtier was a glad man, and at his departing longed to be looking what it was, and his hart dansed for joy. In due time therefore he unwrapped the silke (a sort of his fellow courtiers flocking about him to testifie his good lucke) and having unfolded it, he found therein a drie and withered rape roote. Which spectacle though it set the standers about in a lowd laughter, yet it quailed the courtiers courage, and cast him into a shrewd fit of pensifenes. Thus was the confidence of this courtier turned to vanitie, who upon hope of good speed was willing to part from his horsse for had I wist.