Surelie, there were in the popish church more of these in number, more in common, more private, more publike, more for lewd purposes, and more for no purpose, than among all the heathen, either heretofore, or at this present time: for I dare undertake,/527. that for everie heathen idoll I might produce twentie out of the popish church.Popish gods of nations. For there were proper idols of everie nation: as S. George on horssebacke for England (excepting whome there is said to be no more horssemen in heaven save onelie saint Martine) S. Andrew for Burgundie and Scotland, S. Michael for France, S. James for Spaine, S. Patrike for Ireland, S. Davie for Wales, S. Peter for Rome, and some part of Italie. Had not everie citie in all the popes dominions his severall patrone? As Paule for London, Denis for Paris, Ambrose for Millen, Loven for Gaunt, Romball for Mackline, S. Marks lion for Venice, the three magician kings for Cullen,*[* = Cologne] and so of other./378. Yea, had they not for everie small towne,Parish gods or popish idols and everie village and parish,† [† . in text] (the names wherof I am not at leisure to repeat) a severall idoll? As S. Sepulchre, for one; S. Bride, for another; S. All halowes, All saints, and our Ladie for all at once: which I thought meeter to rehearse, than a bedroll‡[‡ = bead—] of such a number as are in that predicament. Had they not hee idols and shee idols, some for men, some for women, some for beasts, and some for fowles, &c? Doo you not thinke that S. Martine might be opposed to Bacchus? If S. Martine be too weake we have S. Urbane, S. Clement, and manie other to assist him. Was Venus and Meretrix an advocate for whoores among the Gentiles? Behold, there were in the Romish church to encounter with them, S. Aphra, S. Aphrodite, and S. Maudline. But insomuch as long Meg was as verie a whoore as the best of them, she had wrong that she was not also canonized, and put in as good credit as they: for she was a gentlewoman borne; whereunto the pope hath great respect in canonizing of his saints. For (as I have said) he canonizeth the rich for saints, and burneth the poore for witches. But I doubt not, Magdalen, and manie other godlie women are verie saints in heaven, and should have beene so, though the pope had never canonized them: but he dooth them wrong, to make them the patronesses of harlots and strong strumpets.
Was there such a traitor among all the heathen idols,See the golden Legend for the life of S. Bridget. as S. Thomas Becket? Or such a whoore as S. Bridget? I warrant you S. Hugh was as good a huntesman as Anubis. Was Vulcane the protector of the heathen smithes? Yea forsooth, and S. Euloge was patrone for ours. Our painters had Luke, our weavers/528. had Steven,He saints & shee saincts of the old stamp with their peculiar vertues touching the curing of diseases. our millers had Arnold, our tailors had Goodman, our sowters had Crispine, our potters had S. Gore with a divell on his shoulder and a pot in his hand. Was there a better horseleech among the gods of the Gentiles than S. Loy? Or a better sowgelder than S. Anthonie? Or a better toothdrawer than S. Apolline? I beleeve that Apollo Parnopeius was no better a ratcatcher than S. Gertrude, who hath the popes patent and commendation therefore. The Thebans had not a better shepherd than S. Wendeline, nor a better gissard to keepe their geese than Gallus. But for physicke and surgerie, our idols exceeded them all. For S. John, and S. Valentine excelled at the falling evill, S. Roch was good at the plague, S. Petronill at the ague. As for S. Margaret, she passed Lucina for a midwife, and yet was but a maid: in which respect S. Marpurge is joined with hir in commission.
For mad men, and such as are possessed with divels, S. Romane was excellent, & frier Ruffine was also pretilie skilfull in that art. For botches and biles, Cosmus and Damian; S. Clare for the eies, S. Apolline for teeth, S. Job for the *pox.* For the Frēch pox or the cōmon kind of pox, or both? This would be knowne. And for sore brests S. Agatha was as good as Ruminus. Whosoever served Servatius well, should be sure to loose nothing: if Servatius failed in his office, S. Vinden could supplie the matter with his cunning; for he could cause all things that were lost to be restored againe. But here laie a strawe for a while, and I will shew you the names of some, which exceed these verie far, and might have beene canonized for archsaints; all the other saints or idols being in comparison of them but bunglers, and bench-whistlers. And with your leave, when all/379. other saints had given over the matter, and the saints utterlie forsaken of their servitors, they repaired to these that I shall name unto you, with the good consent of the pope, who is the fautor, or rather the patrone of all the saints, divels, and idols living or dead, and of all the gods save one. And whereas none other saint could cure above one disease, in so much as it was idolatrie, follie I should have said, to go to Job for anie other maladie than the pox; nothing commeth amisse to these. For they are good at anie thing, and never a-whit nice of their cunning: yea greater matters are said to be in one of their powers, than is in all the other saints. And these are they: S. mo/ther529. Bungie, S. mother Paine, S. Feats,New saints. S. mother Still, S. mother Dutton, S. Kytrell, S. Ursula Kempe, S. mother Newman, S. doctor Heron, S. Rosimund a good old father, & diverse more that deserve to be registred in the popes kalendar, or rather the divels rubrike.
The xxv. Chapter.
A comparison betweene the heathen and papists, touching their excuses for idolatrie.
ND bicause I know, that the papists will saie, that their idols are saints, and no such divels as the gods of the Gentiles were: you may tell them, that not onelie their saints, but the verie images of them were called Divi.Divos vocant Grammatici eos qui ex hominibus dii facti sunt. Which though it signifie gods, and so by consequence idols or feends: yet put but an (ll) thereunto, and it is Divill in English. But they will saie also that I doo them wrong to gibe at them; bicause they were holie men and holie women. I grant some of them were so, and further from allowance of the popish idolatrie emploied upon them, than greeved with the derision used against that abuse. Yea even as silver and gold are made idols unto them that love them too well, and seeke too much for them: so are these holie men and women made idols by them that worship them, and attribute unto them such honor, as to God onelie apperteineth.
The heathen gods were for the most part good men, and profitable members to the commonwealth wherein they lived, and deserved fame, &c: in which respect they made gods of them when they were dead; as they made divels of such emperors and philosophers as they hated, or as had deserved ill among them. And is it not even so, and woorsse, in the commonwealth and church of poperie? Dooth not the pope excommunicate, cursse, and condemne for heretikes, and drive to the bottomlesse pit of hell, proclaming to be verie divels, all those that either write, speake or thinke contrarie to his idolatrous doctrine? Cicero, when he de/rided530. the heathen gods, Cic. de natur. deorum.and inveied against them that yeelded such servile honor unto them, knew the persons, unto whom such abuse was committed, had well deserved as civill citizens; and that good fame was due unto them, and not divine estimation. Yea the infidels that honored those gods, as hoping to receive benefits for their devotion emploied that waie, knew and conceived that the statues and images, before whome with such reverence/380. they powred foorth their praiers, were stockes and stones, and onelie pictures of those persons whome they resembled: yea they also knew, that the parties themselves were creatures, and could not doo so much as the The papists see a moth in the eie of others, but no beame in their owne.papists and witchmongers thinke the Roode of grace, or mother Bungie could doo. And yet the papists can see the abuse of the Gentils, and may not heare of their owne idolatrie more grosse and damnable than the others.
The xxvi. Chapter.
The conceipt of the heathen and the papists all one in idolatrie, of the councell of Trent, a notable storie of a hangman arraigned after he was dead and buried, &c.