She stood straight and still as he melted into the shadows, and only the moonlight heard her pitiful sob and her hopeless whisper:
“Good-bye, my boy, my boy.”
He wandered down beside the sea, for his battle was not yet won, and until he was surer of himself he could not endure the ribaldry and rejoicing of his fellows. A welcome lay waiting for him in every public place, but no one there could know the mockery of it, no one could gauge the desolation that was his.
The sand, wet, packed, and hard as a pavement, gave no sound to his careless steps; and thus it was that he came silently upon the one woman as she stood beside the silver surf. Had he seen her first he would have slunk past in the landward shadows; but, recognizing his tall form, she called and he came, while it seemed that his lungs grew suddenly constricted, as though bound about with steel hoops. The very pleasure of her sight pained him. He advanced eagerly, and yet with hesitation, standing stiffly aloof while his heart fluttered and his tongue grew dumb. At last she saw his bandages and her manner changed abruptly. Coming closer she touched them with caressing fingers.
“It’s nothing—nothing at all,” he said, while his voice jumped out of all control. “When are you—going away?”
“I do not know—not for some time.”
He had supposed she would go to-morrow with her uncle and—the other, to be with them through their travail.
With warm impetuosity she began: “It was a noble thing you did to-day. Oh, I am glad and proud.”
“I prefer you to think of me in that way, rather than as the wild beast you saw this morning, for I was mad, perfectly mad with hatred and revenge, and every wild impulse that comes to a defeated man. You see, I had played and lost, played and lost, again and again, till there was nothing left. What mischance brought you there? It was a terribly brutal thing, but you can’t understand.”
“But I can understand. I do. I know all about it now. I know the wild rage of desperation; I know the exultation of victory; I know what hate and fear are now. You told me once that the wilderness had made you a savage, and I laughed at it just as I did when you said that my contact with big things would teach me the truth, that we’re all alike, and that those motives are in us all. I see now that you were right and I was very simple. I learned a great deal last night.”