No one answered this challenge; instead, he was the recipient of another question that caused him to squirm.
“Would you consider yourself a moral young man?”
Slowly the applicant shook his head.
“To what Church do you belong?”
“I don’t.”
“How long since you attended divine service?”
“A good many years, I’m afraid.”
There followed a moment of silence; the men at the table exchanged glances, and into Dimples’s face there came an apprehensive, hunted look. He wet his lips, then said:
“Anyhow, you can’t accuse me of mendacity. I don’t lie. Now that you know the worst about me, I’d like to inventory my good points.” This he proceeded to do, but in all honesty it must be said that his showing was not impressive. Never having given serious thought to his virtues, there were few that he could recall at such short notice. He concluded by saying: “I know I can make good if you’ll give me a chance. I—I’ll work like a dog, and I’ll keep the boys laughing. I won’t let them get homesick. I— Why, gentlemen, this is my last chance! It will break my heart if you turn me down.”
Not unkindly the “judge” said: