Answ. The apostle never said that anger is never sinful, but when it lasteth after sun-setting. But entertain no sinful anger at all; but if you do, yet quickly quench it, and continue not in it. Be not angry without or beyond cause: and when you are, yet sin not by uncharitableness, or any evil words or deeds, in your anger; nor continue under the justest displeasure, but hasten to be reconciled and to forgive.
These reasons improved may rule your anger.
Directions practical against sinful Anger.
Direct. I. The principal help against sinful anger is, in the right habituating of the soul, that you live as under the government of God, with the sense of his authority still upon your hearts, and in the sense of that mercy that hath forgiven you, and forbeareth you, and under the power of his healing and assisting grace, and in the life of charity to God and man. Such a heart is continually fortified, and carrieth its preservatives within itself, as a wrathful man carrieth his incentives still within him: there is the main cause of wrath or meekness.
Direct. II. Be sure that you keep a humbled soul, that over-valueth not itself; for humility is patient and aggravateth not injuries: but a proud man takes all things as heinous or intolerable that are said or done against him. He that thinks meanly of himself, thinks meanly of all that is said or done against himself. But he that magnifieth himself, doth magnify his provocations. Pride is a most impatient sin: there is no pleasing a proud person, without a great deal of wit, and care, and diligence. You must come about them as you do about straw or gunpowder with a candle. Prov. xiii. 10, "Only by pride cometh contention." Prov. xxviii. 25, "He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife." Prov. xxi. 24, "Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath." Psal. xxxi. 18, "Let the lying lips be put to silence, which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous." Humility, and meekness, and patience live and die together.
Direct. III. Take heed of a worldly, covetous mind; for that setteth so much by earthly things, that every loss, or cross, or injury will be able to disquiet him, and inflame his passion. Neither neighbour, nor child, nor servant can please a covetous man; every little trespass, or crossing his commodity, toucheth him to the quick, and maketh him impatient.
Direct. IV. Stop your passion in the beginning, before it go too far. It is easiest moderated at first. Watch against the first stirrings of your wrath, and presently command it down: reason and will can do much if you will but use them according to their power. A spark is sooner quenched than a flame; and this serpent is easiliest crushed in the spawn.
Direct. V. Command your tongue, and hand, and countenance, if you cannot presently quiet or command your passion. And so you will avoid the greatest of the sin, and the passion itself will quickly be stifled for want of vent. You cannot say that it is not in your power to hold your tongue or hands if you will. Do not only avoid that swearing and cursing which are the marks of the profane, but avoid many words till you are fitter to use them, and avoid expostulations, and contending, and bitter, opprobrious, cutting speeches, which tend to stir up the wrath of others. And use a mild and gentle speech, which savoureth of love, and tendeth to assuage the heat that is kindled. Prov. xv. 1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." And that which mollifieth and appeaseth another, will much conduce to the appeasing of yourselves.
Direct. VI. At least command yourself into quietness till reason be heard speak, and while you deliberate. Be not so hasty as not to think what you say or do. A little delay will abate the fury, and give reason time to do its office. Prov. xxv. 15, "By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft answer breaketh the bone." Patience will lenify another's wrath; and if you use it but so long, as a little to stay yourselves, till reason be awake, it will lenify your own. And he is a fury, and not a man, that cannot stop while he considereth.
Direct. VII. If you cannot easilier quiet or restrain yourselves, go away from the place and company. And then you will not be heated by contending words, nor exasperate others by your contending. When you are alone the fire will assuage. Prov. xiv. 7, "Go away from the presence of a foolish man when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge." You will not stand still and stir in a wasp's nest when you have enraged them.