Direct. IV. Keep away vain company from them, as far as you can conveniently (except it be such as must needs be admitted, or such as are like to receive any good by the holy counsel of the sick). It is a great annoyance to one that is near death, to hear people talk to little purpose, about the world, or some impertinencies; when they are going speedily to their endless state, and have need of no more impediments in their way; but of the best assistance that their friends can afford them. Procure some able, faithful minister to be with them, to counsel them about the state of their souls; and get some holy, able christians to be much about them, who are fit to pray with them, and instruct them.
Direct. V. Bear with their impatience, and grudge not at any trouble that they put you to. Remember that weakness is froward, and as you bear with the crying of children, so must you with the peevishness of the sick; and remember, that shortly it is like to be your own case, and you must be a trouble to others, and they must bear with you. Be not weary of your friends in sickness; but loving, and tender, and compassionate, and patient.
Direct. VI. Deal faithfully and prudently with them about the state of their souls. Your faithfulness must be showed in these two points: 1. That you do not flatter them with vain hopes of life, when they are more likely to die. 2. That you do not flatter them with false persuasions that their state is safe, when they are yet unsanctified, nor put them in hopes of being saved without regeneration.
Your prudence must be manifested, 1. In suiting your counsel, and speeches, and prayers to their state; and not using the same words to the ungodly, as you would to the godly. 2. In so contracting your counsel for the conversion of the ungodly, as not to overwhelm them with more than they can bear; and yet not to leave out any point of absolute necessity to salvation. Alas, how much skill doth such a work require! And how few christians (that I say not, pastors) are fit for it!
Quest. I. But is it a duty when the sick are like to die, to make it known to them?
Answ. Sometimes it is, and sometimes not. 1. Some sicknesses are such, as will be so increased with fear, that the patient that before was in hope of a recovery, will be put almost past hope. And some sicknesses are much different, and are not like to be so increased by it. And some are past all hope already. 2. Some are so prepared to die, that they have the less need to be acquainted with their danger; and some are unconverted, and in so dangerous a case, that the absolute necessity of their souls may require it. When the soul is in so sad a case, and yet the body may be endangered by the fear of the sentence of death, it is the safest course to tell them, that though God may recover them, yet their disease is so dangerous, as calleth for their speedy and serious preparation for death; which will not be lost, if God restore them. So that they may have so much hope, as to keep their fear from killing them, and so much acquaintance with their danger, as may put them upon their duty. But in case there be already little or no hope, or in case the disease will be but little increased by the fear, (which is the case of the most,) the danger should not at all be hid.
Quest. II. Am I always bound to tell a wicked man of his sin and misery, when it may exasperate his disease, and offend his mind?
Answ. If it were a sickness that is void of danger, in case his mind be quiet, and be like to kill him if his mind be disturbed, then it were the most prudent course to call him so far to repentance and faith, as you can do it without any dangerous disturbance of him; because it is most charity to his soul to help him to a longer time of repentance, rather than to lay all the hopes of his salvation upon the present time. But this is not an ordinary case; therefore ordinarily it is a duty to acquaint the sick person, that is yet in his sin, and unregenerate state, with the truth of his danger, and the necessity of renovation. Alas! it is a lamentable kind of friendship, to flatter a poor soul into damnation, or to hide his danger till he is past recovery. When he is in a state of unexpressible misery, and hath but a few days' or weeks' time left, to do all that ever must be done for his salvation; what horrid cruelty is it then, to let him go to hell for fear of displeasing or disquieting him!
Object. But I am afraid I shall cast him into despair, if I tell him plainly that he is in a state of damnation.
Answ. If you let him alone a little longer, he will be in remediless despair. There is no despair remediless, but that in hell. But now you may help to save him, both from present and endless desperation. He must needs despair of ever being saved without a Christ, or without the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, or without true faith and repentance, and love to God, and holiness. But need he despair of attaining all these, while Christ is offered him so freely, and a full remedy is at hand? He must know his sin and misery, or else he is never like to escape it; but he must also be acquainted with the true remedy; and that is your way to keep him from despair, and not by flattering him into hell.