§ 15. (5.) It is seeking rest where it is not to be found. Your labor will be lost, and, if you proceed, your soul's eternal rest too. Our rest is only in the full obtaining of our ultimate end. But that is not to be expected in this life; neither is rest therefore to be expected here. Is God to be enjoyed in the best church here, as he is in heaven? How little of God the saints enjoy under the best means, let their own complainings testify. Poor comforters are the best ordinances, without God. Should a traveller take up his rest in the way? No, because his home is his journey's end. When you have all that creatures and means can afford, have you that which you believed, prayed, suffered for? I think you dare not say so. We are like little children strayed from home, and God is now fetching us home, and we are ready to turn into any house, stay and play with every thing in our way, and sit down on every green bank, and much ado there is to get us home. We are also in the midst of our labors and dangers; and is there any resting here? What painful work doth lie upon our hands? Look to our brethren, to our souls, and to God; and what a deal of work, in respect to each of these, doth lie before us? And can we rest in the midst of all our labors? Indeed we may rest on earth, as the ark is said to have rested in the midst of Jordan; a short and small rest. Or as Abraham desired the Angels to turn in, and rest themselves in his tent, where they would have been loth to have taken up their dwelling. Should Israel have fixed their rest in the wilderness, among serpents, and enemies, and weariness, and famine? Should Noah have made the ark his home, and have been loth to come forth when the waters were assuaged? Should the mariner choose his dwelling on the sea, and settle his rest in the midst of rocks, and sands, and raging tempests? Should a soldier rest in the thickest of his enemies? And are not Christians such travellers, such mariners, such soldiers? Have you not fears within, and troubles without? Are we not in continual dangers? We cannot eat, drink, sleep, labor, pray, hear, converse, but in the midst of snares; and shall we sit down and rest here? O Christian, follow thy work, look to thy dangers, and hold on to the end, win the field, and come off the ground, before thou think of a settled rest. Whenever thou talkest of rest on earth, it is like Peter on the mount, thou knowest not what thou sayest. If, instead of telling the converted thief, this day shalt thou be with me in paradise, Christ had said, he should rest there on the cross; would he not have taken it for a derision? Methinks it should be ill resting in the midst of sickness and pains, persecutions and distresses. But if nothing else will convince us, yet sure the remainders of sin, which do so easily beset us, should quickly satisfy a believer, that here is not his rest. I say therefore to every one that thinketh of rest on earth, Arise ye, and depart, for this is not your rest, because it is polluted.[303] These things cannot in their nature be a true Christian's rest. They are too poor, to make us rich; too low, to raise us to happiness; too empty, to fill our souls; and of too short continuance to be our eternal content. If prosperity, or whatsoever we here desire, be too base to make gods of, they are too base to be our rest. The soul's rest must be sufficient to afford it perpetual satisfaction. But the content which creatures afford, waxes old, and, abates after a short enjoyment. If God should rain down Angel's food, we should soon loathe the manna. If novelty support not, our delights on earth grow dull. All creatures are to us, as the flowers to the bee; there is but little honey on any one, and therefore there must be a superficial taste, and so to the next. The more the creature is known, the less it satisfieth. Those only are taken with it, who see no further than its outward beauty, without discerning its inward vanity. When we thoroughly know the condition of other men, and have discovered the evil as well as the good, and the defects as well as the perfections, we then cease our admiration.
[303] Micah ii, 10
§ 16. (6.) To have creatures and means without God, is an aggravation of our misery. If God should say, "Take my creatures, my word, my servants, my ordinances, but not myself;" would you take this for happiness? If you had the word of God, and not the word, which is God; or the bread of the Lord, and not the Lord, which is the true bread; or could cry with the Jews, The temple of the Lord, and had not the Lord of the temple; this were a poor happiness. Was Capernaum the more happy or the more miserable, for seeing the mighty works which they had seen, and hearing the words of Christ which they did hear? Surely that, which aggravates our sin and misery, cannot be our rest.
§ 17. (7.) To confirm all this, let us consult our own and others's experience. Millions have made trial, but did any ever find a sufficient rest for his soul on earth? Delights I deny not but they have found, but rest and satisfaction they never found. And shall we think to find that which never man could find before us? Ahab's kingdom is nothing to him, without Naboth's vineyard: and did that satisfy him when he obtained it? Were you like Noah's dove, to look through the earth for a resting place, you would return confessing, that you could find none. Go ask honor, is there rest here? You may as well rest on the top of tempestuous mountains, or in Ætna's flames. Ask riches, is there rest here? Even such as is in a bed of thorns. If you inquire for rest of worldly pleasure; it is such as the fish hath in swallowing the bait, when the pleasure is sweetest, death is nearest. Go to learning, and even to Divine ordinances, and inquire whether there your souls may rest? You might indeed receive from these an olive-branch of hope, as they are means to your rest, and have relation to eternity; but in regard of any satisfaction in themselves, you would remain as restless as ever. How well might all these answer us, as Jacob did Rachel, Am I in God's stead, that you come to me for soul-rest? Not all the states of men in the world; neither court nor country, towns nor cities, shops nor fields, treasuries, libraries, solitude, society, studies, nor pulpits, can afford any such thing as this rest. If you could inquire of the dead of all generations, or of the living through all dominions, they would all tell you, "Here is no rest." Or if other men's experiences move you not, take a view of your own. Can you remember the state that did fully satisfy you, or if you could, will it prove lasting? I believe we may all say of our earthly rest, as Paul of our hope, If it were in this life only, we are of all men most miserable.
§ 18. If then either Scripture, or reason, or the experience of ourselves, and all the world, will satisfy us, we may see there is no resting here. And yet how guilty are the generality of us of this sin? How many halts and stops do we make, before we will make the Lord our rest? How must God even drive us, and fire us out of every condition, lest we should sit down and rest there? If he give us prosperity, riches, or honor, we do in our hearts dance before them, as the Israelites before their calf, and say, These are thy gods, and conclude, it is good to be here. If he embitter all these to us, how restless are we till our condition be sweetened, that we may sit down again, and rest where we were? If he proceed in the cure, and take the creature quite away, then how do we labor, and cry, and pray, that God would restore it, that we may make it our rest again? And while we are deprived of our former idol, yet rather than come to God, we delight ourselves in the hope of recovering it, and make that very hope our rest; or search about from creature to creature, to find out something to supply the room; yea, if we can find no supply, yet we will rather settle in this misery, and make a rest of a wretched being, than leave all and come to God. O the cursed averseness of our souls from God! If any place in hell were tolerable, the soul would rather take up its rest there than come to God. Yea, when he is bringing us over to him, and hath convinced us of the worth of his ways and service, the last deceit of all is here, we will rather settle upon those ways that lead to him, and those ordinances that speak of him, and those gifts which flow from him, than we will come entirely over to himself. Christian, marvel not that I speak so much of resting in these; beware lest it prove thy own case. I suppose thou art so far convinced of the vanity of riches, honor, and pleasure, that thou canst more easily disclaim these, and it is well if it be so; but the means of grace thou lookest on with less suspicion, and thinkest thou canst not delight in them too much, especially seeing most of the world despise them, or delight in them too little. I know they must be loved and valued, and he that delighteth in any worldly thing more than in them, is not a Christian. But when we are content with ordinances without God, and had rather be at a sermon than in heaven, and a member of the church here, than of the perfect church above, this is a sad mistake. So far let thy soul take comfort in ordinances, as God doth accompany them; remembering, this is not heaven, but the first fruits. While we are present in the body, we are absent from the Lord; and while we are absent from him we are absent from our rest. If God were as willing to be absent from us, as we from him, and as loth to be our rest, as we to rest in him, we should be left to an eternal restless separation. In a word, as you are sensible of the sinfulness of your earthly discontents, so be you also of your irregular satisfactions, and pray God to pardon them much more. And above all the plagues on this side hell, see that you watch and pray against settling any where short of heaven, or reposing your souls on any thing below God.
§ 19. (III.) The next thing to be considered is, our unreasonable unwillingness to die that we may possess the saint's rest. We linger, like Lot in Sodom, till the Lord, being merciful unto us, doth pluck us away against our wills. I confess that death of itself is not desirable; but the soul's rest with God is, to which death is the common passage. Because we are apt to make light of this sin, let me set before you its nature and remedy in a variety of considerations. As for instance,—It has in it much infidelity. If we did but verily believe, that the promise of this glory is the word of God, and that God doth truly mean as he speaks, and is fully resolved to make it good; if we did verily believe, that there is indeed such blessedness prepared for believers; surely we should be as impatient of living, as we are now fearful of dying, and should think every day a year till our last day should come. Is it possible that we can truly believe, that death will remove us from misery to such glory, and yet be loth to die? If the doubts of our own interest in that glory make us fear, yet a true belief of the certainty and excellency of this rest would make us restless till our title to it be cleared. Though there is much faith and Christianity in our mouths, yet there is much infidelity and paganism in our hearts, which is the chief cause that we are so loth to die. It is also much owing to the coldness of our love. If we love our friend, we love his company; his presence is comfortable, his absence is painful, when he comes to us we entertain him with gladness; when he dies, we mourn, and usually over mourn. To be separated from a faithful friend, is like the rending a member from our body. And would not our desires after God be such, if we really loved him? Nay, should it not be much more than such, as he is above all friends most lovely? May the Lord teach us to look closely to our hearts, and take heed of self-deceit in this point! Whatever we pretend, if we love either father, mother, husband, wife, child, friend, wealth, or life itself more than Christ, we are yet none of his sincere disciples. When it comes to the trial, the question will not be, who hath preached most, or heard most, or talked most; but, who hath loved most? Christ will not take sermons, prayers, fastings, no, nor the giving our goods, nor the burning our bodies, instead of love. And do we love him, and yet care not how long we are from him? Was it such a joy to Jacob to see the face of Joseph in Egypt? and shall we be contented without the sight of Christ in glory, and yet say we love him? I dare not conclude, that we have no love at all, when we are so loth to die; but I dare say, were our love more, we should die more willingly. If this holy flame were thoroughly kindled in our breasts, we should cry out with David, As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?—By our unwillingness to die, it appears we are little weary of sin. Did we take sin for the greatest evil, we should not be willing to have its company so long. "O foolish, sinful heart! Hast thou been so long a cage of all unclean lusts, a fountain incessantly streaming forth the bitter waters of transgression, and art thou not yet weary? Wretched soul! Hast thou been so long wounded in all thy faculties, so grievously languishing in all thy performances, so fruitful a soil of all iniquities, and art thou not yet more weary? Wouldst thou still lie under thy imperfections? Hath thy sin proved so profitable a commodity, so necessary a companion, such a delightful employment, that thou dost so much dread the parting day? May not God justly grant thee thy wishes and seal thee a lease of thy desired distance from him, and nail thy ears to these doors of misery, and exclude thee eternally from his glory?"—It shews that we are insensible of the vanity of the creature, when we are so loth to hear or think of a removal. "Ah foolish, wretched soul! doth every prisoner groan for freedom? and every slave desire his jubilee? and every sick man long for health? and every hungry man for food? and dost thou alone abhor deliverance? Doth the sailor wish to see the land? Doth the husbandman desire the harvest, and the laborer to receive his pay? Doth the traveller long to be at home, and the racer to win the prize, and the soldier to win the field? and art thou loth to see thy labors finished, and to receive the end of thy faith and sufferings? Have thy griefs been only dreams? If they were, yet methinks thou shouldst not be afraid of waking. Or is it not rather the world's delights that are all mere dreams and shadows? Or is the world become of late more kind? We may, at our peril, reconcile ourselves to the world, but it will never reconcile itself to us. O unworthy soul! who hadst rather dwell in this land of darkness, and wander in this barren wilderness, than be at rest with Jesus Christ! who hadst rather stay among the wolves, and daily suffer the scorpion's stings, than praise the Lord with the host of heaven!"
§ 20. This unwillingness to die, doth actually impeach us of high treason against the Lord. Is it not choosing of earth before him, and taking present things for our happiness, and consequently making them our very God? If we did indeed make God our end, our rest, our portion, our treasure, how is it possible but we should desire to enjoy him?—It moreover discovers some dissimulation. Would you have any man believe you, when you call the Lord your only hope, and speak of Christ as all in all, and of the joy that is in his presence, and yet would endure the hardest life, rather than die, and enter into his presence? What self-contradiction is this, to talk so hardly of the world, and the flesh, to groan and complain of sin and suffering; and yet fear no day more than that, which we expect should bring our final freedom? What hypocrisy is this, to profess to strive and fight for heaven, which we are loth to come to; and spend one hour after another in prayer, for that which we would not have?—— Hereby we wrong the Lord and his promises, and disgrace his ways in the eyes of the world. As if we would persuade them to question, whether God be true to his word or no? Whether there be any such glory as the Scripture mentions? When they see those so loth to leave their hold of present things, who have professed to live by faith, and have boasted of their hopes in another world, and spoken disgracefully of all things below, in comparison of things above; how doth this confirm the world in their unbelief and sensuality? "Sure," say they, "if these professors did expect so much glory, and make so light of the world as they seem, they would not themselves be so loth to change." O how are we ever able to repair the wrong which we do to God and souls by this scandal? And what an honor to God, what a strengthening to believers, what a conviction to unbelievers, would it be, if Christians in this did answer their professions, and cheerfully welcome the news of rest.—It also evidently shews, that we have spent much time to little purpose. Have we not had all our lifetime to prepare to die? So many years to make ready for one hour, and are we so unready and unwilling yet? What have we done? Why have we lived? Had we any greater matters to mind? Would we have wished for more frequent warnings? How oft hath death entered the habitations of our neighbors? How oft hath it knocked at our own doors? How many distempers have vexed our bodies, that we have been forced to receive the sentence of death? And are we unready and unwilling after all this? O careless, dead-hearted sinners! unworthy neglecters of God's warnings! faithless betrayers of our own souls!
§ 21. Consider, not to die, is, never to be happy; to escape death, is, to miss of blessedness; except God should translate us, as Enoch and Elijah; which he never did before, or since. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. If you would not die, and go to heaven, what would you have more than an epicure, or a beast? Why do we pray, and fast, and mourn? Why do we suffer the contempt of the world? Why are we Christians, and not Pagans and Infidels, if we do not desire a life to come? Wouldst thou lose thy faith and labor, Christian, all thy duties and sufferings, all the end of thy life, and all the blood of Christ, and be contented with the portion of a worldling or a brute? Rather say, as one did on his death-bed, when he was asked whether he was willing to die or no, "Let him be loth to die, who is loth to be with Christ."
Is God willing by death to glorify us, and are we unwilling to die, that we may be glorified? Methinks, if a prince were willing to make you his heir, you would scarce be unwilling to accept it; the refusing such a kindness would discover ingratitude and unworthiness. As God hath resolved against them, who make excuses when they should come to Christ, none of those men, which were bidden, shall taste of my supper; so it is just with him to resolve against us, who frame excuses when we should come to glory. The Lord Jesus was willing to come from heaven to earth for us, and shall we be unwilling to remove from earth to heaven for ourselves and him? He might have said, "What is it to me, if these sinners suffer? If they value their flesh above their spirits, and their lust above my Father's love, if they will sell their souls for nought, who is it fit should be the loser? Should I, whom they have wronged? Must they wilfully transgress my law, and I undergo their deserved pain? Must I come down from heaven to earth, and clothe myself with human flesh, be spit upon and scorned by man, and fast, and weep, and sweat, and suffer, and bleed, and die a cursed death; and all this for wretched worms, who would rather hazard their souls, than forbear one forbidden morsel? Do they cast away themselves so slightly, and must I redeem them so dearly?" Thus we see Christ had reason enough to have made him unwilling; and yet did he voluntarily condescend. But we have no reason against our coming to him; except we will reason against our hopes, and plead for the perpetuity of our own calamities. Christ came down to fetch us up; and would we have him lose his blood and labor, and go again without us? Hath he bought our rest at so dear a rate? Is our inheritance purchased with his blood? And are we, after all this, loth to enter? Ah, Sirs! it was Christ, and not we, that had cause to be loth. May the Lord forgive, and heal this foolish ingratitude!
§ 22. Do we not combine with our most cruel foes in their most malicious designs, while we are loth to die, and go to heaven? What is the Devil's daily business? Is it not to keep our souls from God? And shall we be content with this? Is it not the one half of hell, which we wish to ourselves, while we desire to be absent from heaven? What sport is this to Satan, that his desires and thine, Christian, should so concur? that when he sees he cannot get thee to hell, he can so long keep thee out of heaven, and make thee the earnest petitioner for it thyself? O gratify not the Devil so much to thy own injury!—Do not our daily fears of death make our lives a continual torment? Those lives which might be full of joy, in the daily contemplations of the life to come, and the sweet delightful thoughts of bliss; how do we fill them up with causeless terrors? Thus we consume our own comforts, and prey upon our truest pleasures. When we might lie down, and rise up, and walk abroad, with our hearts full of the joys of God, we continually fill them with perplexing fears. For he that fears dying, must be always fearing; because he hath always reason to expect it. And how can that man's life be comfortable, who lives in continual fear of losing his comforts? Are not these fears of death self-created sufferings? As if God had not inflicted enough upon us, but we must inflict more upon ourselves. Is not death bitter enough to the flesh of itself, but we must double and treble its bitterness? The sufferings laid upon us by God, do all lead to happy issues; the progress, is from tribulation to patience, from thence to experience, and so to hope, and at last to glory. But the sufferings we make for ourselves are circular and endless, from sin to suffering, from suffering to sin, and so to suffering again; and not only so, but they multiply in their course; every sin is greater than the former, and so every suffering also: so that, except we think God hath made us to be our own tormentors, we have small reason to nourish our fears of death. And are they not useless, unprofitable fears? As all our care cannot make one hair white or black, nor add one cubit to our stature; so neither can our fear prevent our sufferings, nor delay our death one hour; willing, or unwilling, we must away. Many a man's fears have hastened his end, but no man's did ever avert it. 'Tis true, a cautious fear, concerning the danger after death, hath profited many, and is very useful to the preventing of that danger; but for a member of Christ, and an heir of heaven, to be afraid of entering his own inheritance, is a sinful, useless fear. And do not our fears of dying ensnare our souls, and add strength to many temptations? What made Peter deny his Lord? What makes apostates in suffering times forsake the truth? Why doth the green blade of unrooted faith wither before the heat of persecution? fear of imprisonment and poverty may do much, but fear of death will do much more. So much fear as we have of death, so much cowardice we usually have in the cause of God: Beside the multitude of unbelieving contrivances, and discontents, at the wise disposals of God, and hard thoughts of most of his providences, which this sin doth make us guilty of.