The following Sunday evening the vicar told his congregation that he wished them to stand as the choir came from the vestry, but next Sunday morning found his congregation stolidly seated as heretofore.
‘Ah tell’d ya tha wadn’t deea ’t,’ chuckled the churchwarden.
‘But they will,’ replied the vicar. ‘Bud tha weean’t,’ put in the churchwarden; and then he added as a clincher, ‘Acoz tha’ve made up tha mahnds aboot it, an’ ya weean’t shift ’em when yance tha’ve deean that.’
‘You wait until evening,’ said the vicar, ‘and I shall make them stand.’ And he did. Coming to the doorway of the vestry, he gave out the hymn, the organ commenced to play, up rose the congregation, and out marched the choir and vicar.
‘Ah’ll watch him fra deeaing that onny mair,’ muttered one old dame loud enough for half the church to hear.
‘Did I not say they would rise? And I’ll do that every Sunday,’ said the vicar, as he and the warden walked home.
‘Whya, Ah deean’t knaw saa mich aboot that. It’s nut awlus seeaf ti ride wiv a curb an’ spurs. Ya’ll ’a’e ti tak care noo; wa deean’t tak kindly ti being tricked, Ah can tell ya; bud wa s’ see at eftther.’
Next Sunday morning out stepped the vicar, gave out the hymn, and then waited in the vestry until the organ and congregation were in full swing; then, and not until then, did he and the choir march out, and to his no little surprise he found the whole congregation lustily singing, but seated to a man.
As an example of their plain-speaking, as well as their objection to fall in with a new order of things, perhaps the following is fairly to the point.
The wife of the Vicar of ——, having engaged a new maid, concluded various instructions by saying, ‘Should any ladies call during the afternoon, and I ring, you must bring in the small tea-tray and a kettle of boiling water.’ The first two days passed over without a hitch, but when the bell rang on the third afternoon, instead of tea-tray and kettle a head was thrust through the half-open door, and Mary said, ‘Here Ah saay, cum ootsahd; Ah want ya a minit.’ On the hostess retiring, Mary was heard to say, ‘Noo then! is this new-fengled gahin-on gahin ti happen ivvery daay? Baith them an’ yow owt ti knaw ’at it’s maist inconvenient leeaving yan’s reg’lar wark ti mak tea at this tahm o’ t’ daay. Ya’ll ’a’e ti gan back an’ saay ’at wa s’aan’t be yabble ti mannish owt for ’em this efttherneean; Ah’s up ti t’ elbows i’ muck.’