We all know what to expect from a ‘slaap un’; he or she can never be depended on for anything. It was said of a female whose tongue could not be trusted, or, as we say in the East Riding, whom we could not ‘talk after’: ‘Ah reckon nowt o’ what sha says.... Praise frev a slaap tongue is nae better wo’th ’an rain i’ haay tahm.’
That the idler is ever ready to make excuses for his idleness, and that half the ‘loafers’ who infest the countryside are as capable of doing a day’s work as any one else in the community, we are well aware. We know, too, how any slight ailment is by many used as a plea for having an ‘off-day’; it is to such ‘ne’er-do-weels’ as these that the saying applies: ‘Yan’s nivver ower waak to wark when yan’s yabble ti bunch an au’d hat ower t’ green.’
It is remarkable how few of the well-known English proverbs are in common use among our country folk in the form in which they have been handed down to us. They are for the most part either supplanted by corresponding ones of more or less local growth or by extemporized expressions which do duty for the same and are of scarcely less force. Thus, for example, it was said of one who had been addicted to intemperate habits, and had at length given them up, but, alas! only to fall immediately into the wily snares of horse-racing and betting: ‘Ah deean’t think ’at he’s mended hissen mich: they saay ’at he’s signed t’ pledge, bud started ti hoss-race; t’ rabbit dizn’t fare na betther ’at ’scapes fra t’ fox an’ meets wi’ t’ rezzil.’
The well-worn saying that ‘prevention is better than cure,’ is one which none of us will care to gainsay, and we are for the most part minded so to word the truism; the ancient statement is, however, apt to take a different turn when uttered by Yorkshire lips. On one occasion a Yorkshireman remarked to another countryman, with reference to a certain fire in a house in the neighbourhood, ‘He sleck’d t’ fire oot afoor mich damage wer deean’; whereto the reply came, ‘’T may be clivver ti stop a bull, bud it’s wiser ti loup t’ yat.’
An instance is recorded, and we fear it is by no means a solitary one, of a certain would-be fine lady in one of our Yorkshire villages who dressed herself up in a manner singularly unbecoming for one in her station in life, and withal gave herself highly ridiculous airs. This kind of parade, as may be supposed, gave no little offence in certain quarters, while others of her sex, though not able or willing to adorn their persons to the same absurd degree of finery, were in no wise inferior in real worth to this flaunty and gaily bedecked female. As ‘my lady’ sailed down the ‘town street’ on one occasion, a critical observer of her ways was heard to remark, ‘Sha gans wiv her heead up as thoff yan wer nowt bud muck; bud Ah’ll tell ya what, Ah’s as good as sha is, if Ah’s nut sa weel putten on—black fleeace or white fleeace, t’ mutton’s t’ seeam.’ It would be difficult to say whether such a one were the more deserving of all the severe things that were heaped upon her or another of whom we have heard—Bessie by name. Her ‘pleeanin’’ ways were thus described: ‘It’s awlus ower fine or ower wet for oor Bessie, bud sum folks is that grum’ly, that they awlus ’ev a steean i’ ther shoon.’
The ordinary infirmities of the flesh are no doubt the inheritance of the Yorkshireman equally with the rest of mankind; we can claim for him no immunity from these. He is ‘hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means,’ even as others. Fools are perhaps rather less frequently met with in this than in some other counties, and if there is one bump more clearly developed upon the Yorkshireman’s cranium than another, it is that of caution. Those who happen to be deficient in that particular quality come in for no unfrequent reproofs and warnings from their more ‘gaumish’ fellows. Thus to one who was always being taken in by people of whom he knew nothing, this piece of advice was given: ‘Afoor yan claps a stthrange dog uppo t’ heead, yan s’u’d awlus leeak ’at it teeal;’ while of another, whose propensity to spend money was in excess of that usually found among those who dwell between the Humber and the Tees, it was said, ‘Aw deear, what a feeal he’s been! bud Ah’ve telled him mair ’an yance ’at money ta’en oot o’ t’ pocket’s mair ’an hauf spent.’ Again, we have a Yorkshireman’s equivalent of the brief injunction, ‘look before you leap,’ expressed as follows: ‘Nivver loup a stell widoot ya knaw what sooart of a footho’d you’ll leet on.’
To the same effect as the foregoing is a small bit of admonition that comes down to us from the days of the old tinder-box; and for lack of its due observance, many a small trouble has been experienced. The word of warning shapes itself thus: ‘Afoor yan flints tundther, knaw wheear t’ rush-leet is.’ A few old formulas of this kind may even still occasionally be heard. It was not long ago that I was told of one from the borders of Durham and Yorkshire which struck me as having an antiquated flavour, but yet, withal, one of a picturesque kind. The reason for its use was to reprove a child for displaying a certain greediness at table. It would sound strangely in modern ears to hear it said to a child in such a case: ‘Thoo’s ’greed wi’ sham an’ gi’en mense a grot’ (you have made an agreement with shame, and given decent behaviour a groat).
There is no little truth as well as force in the old expression which says, ‘Them ’at crack o’ thersens awlus to’n’ (turn) ‘oot blawn eggs’; and those who have risen in the world, especially if it be by questionable means, may well take a lesson from the saying, ‘Him ’at’s gitten ti t’ top o’ t’ stee, dhrops farest when he falls.’
In Yorkshire, as elsewhere, those who thus ‘crack o’ thersens,’ besides being unpopular with their fellows, are, generally speaking, more easily daunted than those who are not given to blow their own trumpets.
That was a truly good specimen of our dialectical usages which had reference to one who was in the habit of sounding his own praises in no measured terms. ‘Whya,’ said a countryman, who took a fairly accurate measure of this vain boaster’s ways, ‘Ah deean’t knaw; he’ll mebbe nut deea sa mich when all cums ti all; Ah’ve heeard folk saay ’at a bragger taks a lang stthrahd when t’ teeap’ (the ram) ‘grunds it heeaf’ (stamps the ground with its hoof).