A Trip to Scarborough; and, The Critic

by Richard Brinsley Sheridan

DANGLE.
But are we not to have a battle?

PUFF.
Yes, yes, you will have a battle at last: but, egad, it’s not to be by land, but by sea—and that is the only quite new thing in the piece.

DANGLE.
What, Drake at the Armada, hey?

PUFF.
Yes, i’faith—fire-ships and all; then we shall end with the procession. Hey, that will do, I think?,

SNEER.
No doubt on’t.

PUFF.
Come, we must not lose time; so now for the under-plot.

SNEER.
What the plague, have you another plot?

PUFF.
O Lord, yes; ever while you live have two plots to your tragedy. The grand point in managing them is only to let your under-plot have as little connection with your main-plot as possible.—I flatter myself nothing can be more distinct than mine; for as in my chief plot the characters are all great people, I have laid my under-plot in low life, and as the former is to end in deep distress, I make the other end as happy as a farce.—Now, Mr. Hopkins, as soon as you please.

Enter UNDER PROMPTER.

UNDER PROMPTER.
Sir, the carpenter says it is impossible you can go to the park scene yet.