LORD FOPPINGTON.
Because she’s a woman of insolent virtue, and I thought myself piqued in honour to debauch her.
TOM FASHION.
Very well.—[Aside.] Here’s a rare fellow for you, to have the spending of ten thousand pounds a year! But now for my business with him.—[Aloud.] Brother, though I know to talk of any business (especially of money) is a theme not quite so entertaining to you as that of the ladies, my necessities are such, I hope you’ll have patience to hear me.
LORD FOPPINGTON.
The greatness of your necessities, Tam, is the worst argument in the waurld for your being patiently heard. I do believe you are going to make a very good speech, but, strike me dumb! it has the worst beginning of any speech I have heard this twelvemonth.
TOM FASHION.
I’m sorry you think so.
LORD FOPPINGTON.
I do believe thou art: but, come, let’s know the affair quickly.
TOM FASHION.
Why, then, my case, in a word, is this: the necessary expenses of my travels have so much exceeded the wretched income of my annuity, that I have been forced to mortgage it for five hundred pounds, which is spent. So unless you are so kind as to assist me in redeeming it, I know no remedy but to take a purse.
LORD FOPPINGTON.
Why, faith, Tam, to give you my sense of the thing, I do think taking a purse the best remedy in the waurld; for if you succeed, you are relieved that way, if you are taken [Drawing his hand round his neck], you are relieved t’other.
TOM FASHION.
I’m glad to see you are in so pleasant a humour; I hope I shall find the effects on’t.
LORD FOPPINGTON.
Why, do you then really think it a reasonable thing, that I should give you five hundred paunds?
TOM FASHION.
I do not ask it as a due, brother; I am willing to receive it as a favour.