A Trip to Scarborough; and, The Critic

by Richard Brinsley Sheridan

SIR TUNBELLY CLUMSY.
A likely story, truly, that a peer would behave thus.

LOVELESS.
A pretty fellow, indeed, that would scandalize the character he wants to assume; but what will you do with him, Sir Tunbelly?

SIR TUNBELLY CLUMSY.
Commit him, certainly, unless the bride and bridegroom choose to pardon him.

LORD FOPPINGTON.
Bride and bridegroom! For Gad’s sake, Sir Tunbelly, ’tis tarture to me to hear you call ’em so.

MISS HOYDEN.
Why, you ugly thing, what would you have him call us—dog and cat?

LORD FOPPINGTON.
By no means, miss; for that sounds ten times more like man and wife than t’other.

SIR TUNBELLY CLUMSY.
A precious rogue this to come a-wooing!

Re-enter SERVANT.

SERVANT.
There are some gentlefolks below to wait upon Lord Foppington. [Exit.]

COLONEL TOWNLY.
’Sdeath, Tom, what will you do now? [Aside to TOM FASHION.]