A Trip to Scarborough; and, The Critic

by Richard Brinsley Sheridan

SERVANT.
Mr. Sneer, sir, to wait on you.

DANGLE.
Oh, show Mr. Sneer up.—[Exit SERVANT.]—Plague on’t, now we must appear loving and affectionate, or Sneer will hitch us into a story.

MRS. DANGLE.
With all my heart; you can’t be more ridiculous than you are.

DANGLE.
You are enough to provoke—

Enter SNEER. Ha! my dear Sneer, I am vastly glad to see you.—My dear, here’s Mr. Sneer.

MRS. DANGLE.
Good-morning to you, sir.

DANGLE.
Mrs. Dangle and I have been diverting ourselves with the papers. Pray, Sneer, won’t you go to Drury Lane Theatre the first night of Puff’s tragedy?

SNEER.
Yes; but I suppose one shan’t be able to get in, for on the first night of a new piece they always fill the house with orders to support it. But here, Dangle, I have brought you two pieces, one of which you must exert yourself to make the managers accept, I can tell you that; for’tis written by a person of consequence.

DANGLE.
So! now my plagues are beginning.

SNEER.
Ay, I am glad of it, for now you’ll be happy. Why, my dear Dangle, it is a pleasure to see how you enjoy your volunteer fatigue, and your solicited solicitations.