ABSOLUTE
What, sir, promise to link myself to some mass of ugliness! to——
Sir ANTHONY Zounds! sirrah! the lady shall be as ugly as I choose: she shall have a hump on each shoulder; she shall be as crooked as the crescent; her one eye shall roll like the bull's in Cox's Museum; she shall have a skin like a mummy, and the beard of a Jew—she shall be all this, sirrah!—yet I will make you ogle her all day, and sit up all night to write sonnets on her beauty.
ABSOLUTE
This is reason and moderation indeed!
Sir ANTHONY
None of your sneering, puppy! no grinning, jackanapes!
ABSOLUTE
Indeed, sir, I never was in a worse humour for mirth in my life.
Sir ANTHONY 'Tis false, sir, I know you are laughing in your sleeve; I know you'll grin when I am gone, sirrah!
ABSOLUTE
Sir, I hope I know my duty better.
Sir ANTHONY None of your passion, sir! none of your violence, if you please!—It won't do with me, I promise you.
ABSOLUTE
Indeed, sir, I never was cooler in my life.
Sir ANTHONY 'Tis a confounded lie!—I know you are in a passion in your heart; I know you are, you hypocritical young dog! but it won't do.