Mrs. MALAPROP
Oh, the fellow has some design in writing so.
ABSOLUTE
That he had, I'll answer for him, ma'am.
Mrs. MALAPROP
But go on, sir—you'll see presently.
ABSOLUTE [Reads.] As for the old weather-beaten she-dragon who guards you—Who can he mean by that?
Mrs. MALAPROP Me, sir!—me!—he means me!—There—what do you think now?—but go on a little further.
ABSOLUTE Impudent scoundrel!—[Reads.] it shall go hard but I will elude her vigilance, as I am told that the same ridiculous vanity, which makes her dress up her coarse features, and deck her dull chat with hard words which she don't understand——
Mrs. MALAPROP There, sir, an attack upon my language! what do you think of that?—an aspersion upon my parts of speech! was ever such a brute! Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!
ABSOLUTE He deserves to be hanged and quartered! let me see—[Reads.] same ridiculous vanity——
Mrs. MALAPROP
You need not read it again, sir.
ABSOLUTE I beg pardon, ma'am.—[Reads.] does also lay her open to the grossest deceptions from flattery and pretended admiration—an impudent coxcomb!—so that I have a scheme to see you shortly with the old harridan's consent, and even to make her a go-between in our interview.—Was ever such assurance!