The Saints feast is kept vpon the dedication day, by euery housholder of the parish, within his owne dores, each entertayning such forrayne acquaintance, as will not fayle when their like turne cometh about, to requite him with the like kindnes.
Of late times, many Ministers haue by their ernest inuectiues, both condemned these Saints feasts as superstitious, and suppressed the Church-ales, as licencious: concerning which, let it breed none offence, for me to report a conference that I had not long since, with a neere friend, who (as I conceiue) looked hereinto with an indifferent and vnpreiudicating eye. I do reuerence (sayd he) the calling and iudgement of the Ministers, especially when most of them concurre in one opinion, and that the matter controuersed, holdeth some affinity with their profession. Howbeit, I doubt, least in their exclayming or declayming against Church-ales and Saints feasts, their ringleaders did onely regard the rinde, and not perce into the pith, and that the rest were chiefly swayed by their example: euen as the vulgar, rather stouped to the wayght of their authoritie, then became perswaded by the force of their reasons. And first touching Church-ales, these be mine assertions, if not my proofes: Of things induced by our forefathers, some were instituted to a good vse, and peruerted to a bad: againe, some were both naught in the inuention, and so continued in the practise. Now that Church-ales ought to bee sorted in the better ranke of these twaine, maybe gathered from their causes and [70] effects, which I thus rasse vp together: entertaining of Christian loue, conforming of mens behauiour to a ciuill conuersation, compounding of controuersies, appealing of quarrels, raising a store, which might be concerted partly to good and godly vses, as releeuing all sorts of poore people, repairing of Churches, building of bridges, amending of high wayes; and partly for the Princes seruice, by defraying at an instant, such rates and taxes as the magistrate imposeth for the Countries defence. Briefly, they tende to an instructing of the minde by amiable conference, and an enabling of the body by commendable exercises. But I fearing lest my friend would runne himselfe out of breath, in this volubilitie of praising, stept athwart him with these obiections: That hee must pardon my dissenting from his opinion, touching the goodnesse of the institution: for taken at best, it could not be martialled with the sacred matters, but rather with the ciuill, if not with the profane; that the very title of ale was somewhat nasty, and the thing it selfe had beene corrupted with such a multitude of abuses, to wit, idlenes, drunkennesse, lasciuiousnes, vaine disports of ministrelsie, dauncing, and disorderly night-watchings, that the best curing was to cut it cleane away. As for his fore-remembred good causes and effects, I sawe not, but that if the peoples mindes were guided by the true leuell of christian charity & duetie, such necessary and profitable contributions might stil be continued gratis, & the country eased of that charge to their purse and conscience, which ensueth this gourmandise. His reply was, that if this ordinance could not reach vnto that sanctity which dependeth on the first table, yet it succeeded the same in the next degree, as appertayning to the second. Mine exception against the title, he mockingly matched with their scrupulous precisenes, who (forsooth) would not say Christmas, nor Michaelmas, as other folk did; but Christs tide, and Michaels tide: who (quoth he) by like consequence must also bind themselues to say, Toms tide, Lams tide, and Candles tide. But if the name of ale relish so ill, whereas the licour itselfe is the English mans ancientest and wholesomest drinke, and serueth many for meate and cloth too; he was contented I should call it Church beere, or Church wine, or what else I listed: mary, for his part hee would loqui cum vulgo, though hee studied sentire cum sapientibus. Where I affirmed, that the people might by other meanes be trayned with an equall largesse to semblable workes of charitie, he suspected lest I did not enter into a through consideration of their nature and qualitie, which he had obserued to be this: that they would sooner depart with 12. pennyworth of ware, then sixepence in coyne, and this shilling they would willingly double, so they might share but some pittance thereof againe. Now in such indifferent matters, to serue their humours, for working them to a good purpose, could breed no maner of scandall. As for the argument of abuse, which I so largely dilated, that should rather conclude a reformation of the fault, then an abrogation of the fact.
For to prosecute your owne Metaphore (quoth hee) surely I holde him for a sory Surgeon, that cannot skill to salue a sore, but by taking away the lymme, and little better then the Phisicion, who, to helpe the disease, will reaue the life of his Patient from him. Abuses, doubtlesse, great and many [71] haue, by successe of time, crept hereinto, as into what other almost, diuine, or ciuill, doe they not? and yet in these publike meetings, they are so presented to euery mans sight, as shame somewhat restrayneth the excesse, and they may much the sooner bee both espied and redressed. If you thinke I goe about to defend Church-ales, with all their faults, you wrong your iudgement, & your iudgement wrongeth mee. I would rather (as a Burgesse of this ale-parliament) enact certaine lawes, by which such assemblies should be gouerned: namely, that the drinke should neither be too strong in taste, nor too often tasted: that the ghests should be enterlarded, after the Persian custome, by ages, yong and old, distinguished by degrees of the better and meaner: and seuered into sexes, the men from the women: that the meats should be sawced with pleasant, but honest talke: that their songs should be of their auncestours honourable actions: the principall time of the morning, I would haue hallowed to Gods seruice: the after-noones applied to manlike actiuities: and yet I would not altogether barre sober and open dauncing, vntill it were first thoroughly banished from mariages, Christmas reuels, and (our Countries patterne) the court: all which should be concluded, with a reasonable and seasonable portion of the night: and so (sayd hee) will I conclude this part of my speech, with adding onely one word more for my better iustification: that in defending feasts, I maintayne neither Paradox, nor conceite in nubibus, but a matter practised amongst vs from our eldest auncestours, with profitable and well pleasing fruit, and not onely by our nation, but, both in former ages, by the best and strictest disciplined common wealth of the Lacedemonians, who had their ordinary Sissitia, and now in our dayes, as well by the reformed, as Catholike Switzers, who place therein a principal Arcanum imperij.
Now touching the Saints feasts, if you taynt them with suspect: of superstition, because they are held vpon those Saints daies, by whose names the parish Churches are stiled, I will ward that blow with the shield of Arch-Saint Austines authoritie, who in his 8. booke of Gods Citie, and 27. Chap. in the like case, iustifieth a lesse allowable practise of the primitiue Christians. Summa, he closed his discourse with this protection, that hee appealed not from, but to the honourably respected censure of the reuerend Ministery, desiring his speach might receiue, not the allowance of a position, but the licence of a proposition: which my friends modest submission, I could not but embrace my selfe, and recommend it ouer to your fauourable acceptation.
My last note touching these feasts, tendeth to a commendation of the ghests, who (though rude in their other fashions) may for their discreete Judgement in precedence, and preseance, read a lesson to our ciuilest gentry. Amongst them, at such publike meetings, not wealth but age is most regarded: so as (saue in a verie notorious disproportion of estates) the younger rich reckoneth it a shame sooner then a grace, to step or sit before the elder honest, and rather expecteth his turne for the best roome, by succession, then intrudeth thereto by anticipation.
Pastimes to delight the minde, the Cornish men haue Guary miracles, and three mens songs: and for exercise of the body, Hunting, Hawking, Shooting, Wrastling, [72] Hurling, and such other games.
The Guary miracle, in English, a miracle-play, is a kinde of Enterlude, compiled in Cornish out of some scripture history, with that grossenes, which accompanied the Romanes vetus Comedia. For representing it, they raise an earthen Amphitheatre, in some open field, hauing the Diameter of his enclosed playne some 40. or 50. foot. The Country people flock from all sides, many miles off, to hear and see it: for they haue therein, deuils and deuices, to delight as well the eye as the eare: the players conne not their parts without booke, but are prompted by one called the Ordinary, who followeth at their back with the booke in his hand, and telleth them softly what they must pronounce aloud. Which maner once gaue occasion to a pleasant conceyted gentleman, of practising a mery pranke: for he vndertaking (perhaps of set purpose) an Actors roome, was accordingly lessoned (before-hand) by the Ordinary, that he must say after him. His turne came: quoth the Ordinary, Go forth man and shew thy selfe. The gentleman steps out vpon the stage, and like a bad Clarke in scripture matters, cleauing more to the letter then the sense, pronounced those words aloud. Oh (sayes the fellowe softly in his eare) you marre all the play. And with this his passion, the Actor makes the audience in like sort acquainted. Hereon the prompter falles to flat rayling & cursing in the bitterest termes he could deuise: which the Gentleman with a set gesture and countenance still soberly related, vntill the Ordinary, driuen at last into a madde rage, was faine to giue ouer all. Which trousse though it brake off the Enterlude, yet defrauded not the beholders, but dismissed them with a great deale more sport and laughter, then 20. such Guaries could haue affoorded.
They haue also Cornish three mens songs, cunningly contriued for the ditty, and pleasantly for the note.
Amongst bodily pastimes, shooting carrieth the preeminence; to which in mine yonger yeeres I caried such affection, as I induced Archery, perswading others to the like liking, by this ensuing Prosopopeia:
My deare friends, I come to complaine vpon you, but to your selues: to blame you, but for your good: to expostulate with you, but in the way of reconciliation. Alas, what my desert can justify your adandoning my fellowship, & hanging me thus vp, to be smoke-starued ouer your chimnies? I am no stranger vnto you, but by birth, your countrywoman: by dwelling your neighbour: by education, your familiar: neither is my company shamefull; for I hant the light and open fieldes: nor my conuersation dangerous: nay, it shields you from dangers, and those not the least, but of greatest consequence, the dangers of warre. And as in fight I giue you protection, so in peace I supplie you pastime; and both in warre and peace, to your lymmes I yeelde actiue plyantnesse, and to your bodyes healthfull exercise: yea I prouide you food when you are hungrie, and helpe digestion when you are full. Whence then proceedeth this vnkinde and vnusuall strangenesse? Am I heavy for burden? Forsooth, a fewe light stickes of wood. Am I combrous for carriage? I couch a part of my selfe close vnder your girdle, and the other part serueth for a walking-staffe in your hand. Am I vnhandsome in your sight? Euery piece of mee is comely, and the whole keepeth [73] an harmonicall proportion. Lastly, am I costly to bee prouided? or hard to bee maintayned? No, cheapnesse is my purueyour, easinesse my preseruer, neither doe I make you blow away your charges with my breath, or taynt your nose with my sent, nor defile your face and fingers with my colour, like that hellborne murderer, whom you accept before me. I appeale then to your valiant Princes, Edwards, and Henries, to the battayles of Cresey, Poyters, Agincourt, and Floddon, to the regions of Scotland, Fraunce, Spaine, Italy, Cyprus, yea and Iury, to be vmpires of this controuersie: all which (I doubt not) will with their euidence playnely prooue, that when mine aduerse party was yet scarcely borne, or lay in her swathling clouts, through mee onely your auncestours defended their Countrey, vanquished their enemies, succoured their friends, enlarged their Dominions, aduanced their religion, and made their names fearfull to the present age, and their fame euerlasting to those that ensue. Wherefore, my deare friends, seeing I have so substantially euicted the rightof my cause conforme your wils to reason, conforme your reason by practise, and conuert your practise to the good of your selues and your Country. If I be praise-worthy, esteeme me: if necessary, admit me: if profitable, employ me: so shall you reuoke my death to life, and shew your selues no degenerate issue of such honourable Progenitours. And thus much for Archery, whose tale, if it be disordered, you must beare withall, for she is a woman, & her mind is passionate.