“The money, with the exception of several smaller legacies, goes, with the consent of the Mayor and Corporation of Helsham, to purchase and lay out a Public Park for the people in memory of the Testator. There’s to be a mausoleum in the middle of it, in which his crematory urn is to be kep’, and a bandstand at each end, because he always loved to see people cheerful about him. Also, he bequeaths to Miss Mellicent Davis, at his lodgings in Margaret Place, five guineas and a set of ivory chessmen; and to his old and valued friend, William Odlett, which is me, the sum of two hundred pounds. He adds, he hopes I’ll drink myself to death on it, inside of a month; but he always was a playful old gentleman. No—you’re not forgotten!�
Mr. Popham wiped his brow with an air of relief.
“You’re not forgotten—which ought to be a consolation to you!� repeated Mr. Odlett, creasing all over with a vast, comprehensive smile. “You’re to ’ave his walking-sticks, clothes, wigs, the rugs and plaids, and the spare set of teeth, hoping you’ll always have something to employ ’em on. I came over a-purpose to tell you; you’re so fond of a joke, Popham.�
“I don’t deny it,� said the crushed and disappointed Mr. Popham; “but where the humor of this one is, hang me if I know!�
“You’ll see by-and-by,� said Mr. Odlett consolingly. “When you’ve ’ad time to think it over. Meanwhile I’ll stand a couple of whiskies hot. A man don’t come into two hundred, cool, every day, and this windfall is particularly welcome. You know Madgell, the landlord of the Bastling Arms at Helsham, is gone over to the majority?�
Mr. Popham nodded a pale face.
“The lease, stock, goodwill, and fixtures of that pleasant little ’ouse is to be ’ad for what I call a song. And I’m going—in a week or so, when I’ve laid my hand secure on this here little legacy—to pop in and settle down. Plummer, the cook, a plump and capable young woman, ’ave expressed her willingness to be the landlady. I did suppose she had had a bit of an understanding with you. But she’s quite come round my way since the reading of the will, and I thought you’d like to know it!�
“You’re uncommon considerate,� said the rasped and tingling Mr. Popham, “but I’ve made arrangements elsewhere.�
“Perhaps the Other One will change her mind when she finds out you’re diddled in your expectations!� said the comforting Mr. Odlett, shaking hands heartily. “Good-night. I shan’t hear of you coming to the door!�
But Mr. Popham did come, and slammed it behind the departing form of Mr. Odlett with great heartiness.