With my Wife this Day to Westminster, and walking thereabouts in Regent-Street and Oxford-Street, and the principal Streets, though contrary to my Resolution to walk with her only in the Fields, but did it to please her, and keep her in good Humour, but in mighty Fear of what it might cost me, trembling to observe her continually looking askance at the Shop-Windows. But I cannot wonder that they did catch her Eye; particularly the Haberdashers, and Drapers, and Mercers, whereof many were full of Bills, stuck in all Manner of Ways across the Panes, and printed in Letters of from two Inches to a Span long, and staring Dashes of Admiration two and three together. In one Window posted a "Tremendous Sacrifice!" in another an "Alarming Failure!!" in a third a "Ruinous Bankruptcy!!!", by reason whereof, the Goods within were a-selling off at 50, 60, or 70 per Cent. under prime Cost, but at any Rate the Owners must raise Money. Good Lack! to think of the dreadful Pass the Drapery Trade must have come to; so many Master-Mercers and Haberdashers on the Threshold of the Prison or the Workhouse, and their Wives and Families becoming Paupers on the Parish, or Beggars, and their People out of Employ starving; if their notices do tell true. But my Wife did say, very serious, that we were not to judge, or to know of their Tricks and Cozenage, and, that it was no Matter to us if they did cheat their Creditors, provided we could buy their Wares at a Bargain, and besides, if we did not, others would. So going by Ragge, Rip & Co., their Establishment, as they do call their Shop, she would needs stop in Front of it to look in; which did trouble me. I to read the Posters in the Window, which were the worst and most pitiful of any, and by their showing Mr. Ragge and Mr. Rip, and their Co. were going altogether to the Dogs. My Wife did presently, as I expected, find somewhat she had a Mind to: a Muslin she did say was Dirt-cheap, and I knew was Dirt-worth. I plainly refused to let her buy it, or anything else at Ragge and Rip's, who have been, to my knowledge, making a Tremendous Sacrifice any Time the last two Years; but the Simpletons their Customers the only Victims. But I pity not a Whit such Gudgeons as are caught by these Tricks of the Drapery Trade; rightly served by being cheated in seeking to profit, as they think, by Fraud and dishonest Bankruptcy. I told my Wife that Ragge and Rip do sell off at a Loss to none but those that deal with them, and were like at that Moment, instead of being Bankrupts, to be making merry at the Expense of their Dupes. But she being sullen at my Denial of her Muslin, I did quiet her by the Promise of a better Piece at Faircloth and Pryce's, who do carry on Business without rogueish Puffery, and after the old Fashion of English Traders, according to the Maxim, that "Good Wine needs no Bush," which my Wife, poor silly Wretch, not understanding, I explained to her did mean, that stuffs worth the buying, to find a Sale, do stand in no need of Haberdashers' trickish Advertisements.
MADAME TUSSAUD HER WAX WERKES. YE CHAMBER OF HORRORS!!
Wednesday, September 5, 1849.
To please my Wife, did take her this Evening to Madame Tussaud her Wax Works; a grand large Room, with Gilding, lighted up very splendid: cost 2s., and a Catalogue 6d. The Wax Figures showy: but with their painted Cheeks and glassy Eyes—especially such as nod and move—do look like Life in Death. The Dresses very handsome, and I think correct; and the Sight of so many People of Note in the Array of their Time, did much delight me. Among the Company Numbers of Country Folk, and to see how they did stare at the Effigies of the Queen, and the Prince, and the Duke of Wellington, and the King of the Belgians, and the Princess Charlotte that was, and George the Fourth in his Coronation Robes, grand as a Peacock! The Catalogue do say that his Chair is the very one wherein he sat in the Abbey; but it look like a Play-House Property, and little thought the King where it would come down to figure! A Crowd of Dames gazing at the Group of the Royal Family, calling the Children "Dears" and "Ducks," and would, I verily believe, have liked to kiss their Wax Chaps. My Wife feasted her Eyes on the little Princes and Princesses, I mine upon a pretty, modest, black Maid beside me, and she hers on me, till my Wife spying us, did pinch me with her Nails in the Arm. Pretty, to see the Sovereign Allies in the last War, and bluff old Blucher, and Bonaparte and his Officers, in brave Postures, but stiff. Also the two King Charleses, and Oliver, together; Charles the First protesting against his Death-Warrant, and his Son Backing him; and Cardinal Wolsey looking on. Lord Byron in the Dress of a Greek Pirate, looking Daggers and Pistols, close to John Wesley preaching a Sermon; and methought, if all Madame Tussaud's Figures were their Originals instead, what Ado there would be! Many of the Faces that I knew very like; and my Lord Brougham I did know directly, and Liston in Paul Pry. But strange, among the Kings to see him that was the Railway King; and methinks that it were as well now if he were melted up. Thence to the Napoleon Rooms, where Bonaparte's Coach, and one of his Teeth, and other Reliques and Gimcracks of his, well enough to see for such as care about him a Button. Then to the Chamber of Horrors, which my Wife did long to see most of all; cost, with the Napoleon Rooms, 1s. more; a Room like a Dungeon, where the Head of Robespierre, and other Scoundrels of the great French Revolution, in Wax, as though just cut off, horrid ghastly, and Plaster Casts of Fellows that have been hanged: but the chief attraction a Sort of Dock, wherein all the notorious Murderers of late Years; the foremost of all, Rush, according to the Bill, taken from Life at Norwich, which, seeing he was hanged there, is an odd Phrase. Methinks it is of ill Consequence that there should be a Murderers' Corner, wherein a Villain may look to have his Figure put more certainly than a Poet can to a Statue in the Abbey. So away again to the large Room, to look at Jenny Lind instead of Greenacre, and at 10 of the Clock Home, and so to Bed, my Wife declaring she should dream of the Chamber of Horrors.
