To Prudent, Thrifty Souls who save up their pleasure in this world so they may enjoy it, with interest, in the next—
To Men who feel refreshed in the presence of Thoroughbred Horses—
To Patronizers of Humor—
To Artists who think an Important Manner makes Matter Important—
To New-laid Æsthetes who bamboozle other New-laid Æsthetes by saying Nothing in a New Way—
To Revilers of Public Taste who forget that clarity begins at home—
To Critics whose most lethal epithet is “light,” who deem tears more civilized than laughter, and the causing of pain a higher art than the giving of pleasure—
To Weepers in Playtime and Dieters at the Banquet of Life—
To all Mental Masochists—
To the Serious Minded—