“At Christ-Church marriage, done before the king,
Lest that those mates should want an offering,
The king himself did offer—what, I pray?
He offered twice or thrice to go away.”
OXFORD AND CAMBRIDGE SEEMED RIVALS
At this period. Wood states, in his Annals, that when King James was entertained at Oxford, in 1605, divers Cambridge scholars went thither out of novelty, to see and hear; and some that pretended to be wits made copies of verses on that solemnity, of which, he says, I have met with one that runs—
To Oxonforde the king is gone,
With all his mighty peers,
That hath in grace maintained us,
These four or five long years.
Such a king he hath been,
As the like was never seen:
Knights did ride by his side,
Evermore to be his guide:
A thousand knights, and forty thousand knights,
Knights of forty pounds a year.
which some attribute to one Lake. This example, he adds, was followed by the Oxonians, when James visited Cambridge in 1614, and “many idle songs” were made by them upon the proceedings at Cambridge, the most celebrated of which is the one entitled, “A Grave Poem, as it was presented in Latin by Divines and others, before his Majesty at Cambridge, by way of Enterlude, stiled ‘Liber novus de adventu Regis ad Cantabrigiam,’ faithfully done into English, with some liberal advantage, made rather to be sung than red, to the tune of ‘Bonny Nell,’” which poem, says Wood, may be seen in the works of the witty Bishop Corbet (by whom it was written,) “printed in 1647.” But in so saying our annalist not only lies under a mistake, but Mr. Gutch, his editor, has not detected it. The poem is not in the edition of 1647, but in that of 1672, which is the third, corrected and enlarged, and “printed by J. C. for William Crooke, at the Green Dragoon, without Temple Bar;” as all may see who will consult the said editions, both extant in the library of the British Museum. The poem is comprised in twenty-six stanzas, as follows:—
It is not yet a fortnight, since
Lutetia entertained our Prince,
And wasted both a studied toy,
As long as was the siege of Troy:
And spent herself for full five days
In speeches, exercise, and plays.
To trim the town, great care before
Was tane by th’ Lord Vice-Chancellor,
Both morn and eve he cleared the way,
The streets he gravell’d thrice a day;
One stripe of March-dust for to see,
No Provost would give more than he.
Their colledges were new be-painted,
Their founders eke were new be-sainted;
Nothing escaped, nor post, nor door,
Nor gete, nor rail, nor b——d, nor wh——:
You could not know (oh, strange mishap!)
Whether you saw the town or map.
But the pure house of Emanuel,
Would not be like proud Jesebel,
Nor show herself before the king
An hypocrite, or painted thing:
But that the ways might all prove fair,
Conceiv’d a tedious mile of prayer.
Upon the look’d-for seventh of March,
Out went the townsmen all in starch,
Both band and bead into the field,
Where one a speech could hardly wield;
For needs he would begin his stile,
The king being from him half a mile.
They gave the king a piece of plate,
Which they hop’d never came too late;
And cry’d, Oh! look not in, great king,
For there is in it just nothing:
And so preferred with time and gate,
A speech as empty as their plate.
Now, as the king came near the town,
Each one ran crying up and down,
Alas, poor Oxford, thou’rt undone,
For now the king’s past Trompington,
And rides upon his brave grey Dapple,
Seeing the top of King’s-Colledge chappel.
Next rode his lordship on a nag,
Whose coat was blue, whose ruff was shag,
And then began his reverence
To speak most eloquent non-sense:
See how (quoth he) most mighty prince,
For very joy my horse doth wince.
What cryes the town? what we? (said he)
What cryes the University?
What cryes the boyes? what every thing?
Behold, behold, yon comes the king:
And every period he bedecks,
With En et Ecce venit Rex.
Oft have I warn’d (quoth he) our dirt,
That no silk stockings should be hurt;
But we in vain strive to be fine,
Unless your Grace’s sun doth shine;
And with the beams of your bright eye,
You will be pleased our streets to dry.
Now come we to the wonderment,
Of Christendom, and eke of Kent,
The Trinity; which to surpass,
Doth Deck her spokesman by a glass:
Who, clad in gay and silken weeds,
Thus opes his mouth, hark how he speeds.
I wonder what your Grace doth here,
Who had expected been 12 year,
And this your son, fair Carolus,
That is so Jacobissimus;
There’s none, of all your Grace refuses,
You are most welcome to our Muses.
Although we have no bells to jingle,
Yet can we shew a fair quadrangle,
Which, though it ne’er was graced with king,
Yet sure it is a goodly thing:
My warning’s short, no more I’ll say,
Soon you shall see a gallant play.
But nothing was so much admired
As were their plays, so well attired;
Nothing did win more praise of mine,
Than did their Actors most divine:
So did they drink their healths divinely,
So did they skip and dance so finely.
Their plays had sundry grave wise factors,
A perfect diocess of Actors
Upon the stage; for I am sure that
There was both bishop, pastor, curat:
Nor was this labour light or small,
The charge of some was pastoral.
Our plays were certainly much worse,
For they had a brown hobby-horse,
Which did present unto his Grace
A wondrous witty ambling pace:
But we were chiefly spoyl’d by that
Which was six hours of God knows what.
His Lordship then was in a rage,
His Lordship lay upon the stage,
His Lordship cry’d, All would be marr’d:
His Lordship lov’d a-life the guard,
And did invite those mighty men,
To what think you? Even to a Hen.
He knew he was to use their might
To help to keep the door at night,
And well bestow’d he though his Hen,
That they might Tolebooth Oxford men.
He thought it did become a lord
To threaten with that bug-bear word.
Now pass we to the Civil Law,
And eke the doctors of the spaw,
Who all perform’d their parts so well,
Sir Edward Ratcliff bore the bell,
Who was, by the king’s own appointment,
To speak of Spells and Magic Ointment.
The Doctors of the Civil Law,
Urged ne’er a reason worth a straw;
And though they went in silk and satten,
They, Thomson-like clip’d the king’s Latine;
But yet his Grace did pardon then
All treasons against Priscian.
Here no man spoke aught to the point,
But all they said was out of joint;
Just like the Chappel ominous,
In th’ Colledge called God with us,
Which truly doth stand much awry,
Just north and south, yes verily.
Philosophers did well their parts,
Which proved them Masters of the Arts;
Their Moderator was no fool,
He far from Cambridge kept a school:
The country did such store afford,
The Proctors might not speak a word.
But to conclude, the king was pleased,
And of the court the town was eased:
But Oxford though (dear sister hark it)
The king is gone but to New-Market,
And comes again ere it be long,
Then you may sing another song.
The king being gone from Trinitie,
They make a scramble for degree;
Masters of all sorts and all ages,
Keepers, subsizers, lackayes, pages,
Who all did throng to come abroad,
With pray make me now, good my Lord.
They prest his lordship wondrous hard,
His lordship then did want the guard,
So did they throng him for the nonce,
Till he bless them all at once,
And cry’d Hodiissime:
Omnes Magistri estote.
Nor is this all which we do sing,
For of your praise the world must ring:
Reader, unto your tackling look,
For there is coming forth a book,
Will spoyl Joseph Bernesius
The sale of Rex Platonicus.
His Majesty was, as usual, entertained with speeches, disputations, and dramatic exhibitions. Fuller relates, that the following
EXTRAORDINARY DIVINITY ACT,
Or Disputation, was kept at Cambridge before this prince, during this visit, where Dr. John Davenant (afterwards Bishop of Sarum) was respondent, and Dr. Richardson, amongst others, opponent. The question was maintained, in the negative, concerning the excommunicating of kings. Dr. Richardson vigorously pressed the practice of St. Ambrose, who excommunicated the emperor Theodosius,—insomuch, says Fuller, that the king, in a great passion, returned,—“Profecto fuit hoc ab Ambrosio insolentissime factum.” To which Dr. R. rejoined,—“Responsum vere Regium, et Alexandro dignum, hoc non est argumentu dissolvere, sed desecare,”—and so, sitting down, discontinued from any further argument. It was for the entertainment of James during this visit, that