[3]. The Descent of Man. Chapter xvii.
Let me further illustrate this topic by the story of a beautiful lady-dog, the elegant and high-bred Kaloolah. Worthy to bear the name of that lovely and renowned princess, our Kaloolah lived in a country far beyond the Great Waters. She was the daintiest and most delicate of her sex. Born of the famous Blakkantan tribe, her coat was of jetty brilliancy, soft and fine, and edged with the dark saffron border which is the mark of the highest families of her race. Not one white hair marred the jetty perfection of her exterior, to betray the indiscretion of any of her ancestresses. Her body had the slenderness of a greyhound’s, and her pretty pointed paws tapped the responsive ground lightly as she ran. After she had attained nubile years she was sought by many males of her own race; but her fastidiousness caused her to reject them all, and the care of those under whose protection she had been placed so seconded and supported her in her resolution, that it seemed as if she would pass her life in the sweet serenity of virgin solitude. [Here some slight hissing and giggling was heard from the younger females, and a groan came from an ancient one, who was said to have very unfavorable opinions of the taste of the whole male sex.] But, alas! she was one day removed to a rural district in the hill-country where her protectors made their dwelling. At that place was a dog, a coarse, vulgar creature, rude, shaggy, unkempt, grisly, uncouth, a kind of slave of the soil, who had been bought with the acres, and who was never allowed to come within the house, hardly near it, but was driven to find a fitting harborage in the stables and out-buildings. Yet after a period—will it be believed?—such is the influence of propinquity, the beautiful Kaloolah cast aside that maidenly reserve and fastidious exclusiveness by which she had hitherto been distinguished, and shocked her protectors by forming a mésalliance with the Bear; for so the low brute was fitly called. The consequence duly appeared in the form of a miserable mongrel, a grisly, gaunt, lean-bodied, huge-pawed, awkward creature, without either the high-bred elegance of its mother or the rugged strength of its father, a shame to both its parents, an offence to the household, and a living witness of the dreadful consequences of a practical disregard of the great principle of sexual selection.
No other modification or development of our race has taken place, in the direct line, than those of which I have told you. None other was necessary. We at last returned to, and have since maintained, that perfection of beauty in face and form which makes the gorilla the paragon of animals, and which causes the few specimens of our effete cousin, man, who venture within our haunts to come without their females, being naturally unwilling to expose the partners of their beds and their bosoms to the temptation of our superior attractions. [Here the lecturer glanced aside at a knot of females in his audience, and tried to look modest, but failed.] Even the Darwin, who boasts of his descent from our noble race, would, shrink from such a test of his principle of sexual selection. We, I confess, are not proud, and should have no objection to such visitors, a generosity of feeling which he himself has had the grace to acknowledge.[[4]]
[4]. See the passage in Latin in chapter i. of “The Descent of Man.”
One overture was made to a female of our race which, if it had been accepted, might have resulted in a very great and striking modification of our traits. The incident has a direct connection with the subject of my lecture; for it was through this female, and partly in consequence of this affair, that our family tree divided into two great branches, and one of them degenerated into Man. It so happened, by one of those deplorable freaks of nature from which no race, however noble, is entirely free, that a male gorilla was born deformed. In his infancy he was almost without hair, and the great thumb upon the hinder extremities, to which chiefly we owe our proud distinction of being a four-handed race, was a puny thing, useless except for walking; and, in fact, of no more value than the big toe of some of the inferior animals. As he grew up, a sparse coat of soft hair did appear upon his body; but the deformed thumb of course never developed or changed; it only grew in proportion to his growth, and remained a miserable toe. Yet, will it be believed? certain of our young females, with the unaccountable caprice of their sex, showed a hankering after this young fellow. They found him, in their own phrase “so interesting!” “He was so different,” they said, “from the old humdrum style of gorilla gentlemen.” They called him elegant. Gorilla girls of the period, who might have commanded the devoted service of individuals of the opposite sex much more worthy of their attention, in fact, of individuals of mature age, and distinguished position, well-haired, and with gigantic hind thumbs—[Here the lecturer was observed to rub his coat well up, and to gradually advance one of his hind feet on the stump on which he was standing]—giddy creatures who might have won the favor of such persons who abounded then, and who are—in fact—I may say—who are—sometimes—to be found even now, actually preferred the society of this effeminate, this more than effeminate creature. And yet, in the interests of science, I must tell the exact truth; according to tradition, he was not quite a weakling. He was nimble and strong, but it was in a different way from that of the other males of his race. In his singularity was his charm. He was also lazy, listless, and indifferent. He took no notice of the fairer sex, even of those who were most devoted to him, and most open in their admiration. He might have lived without lifting a finger; for they delighted in nothing so much as in serving him. Making of the peculiarity that was the very occasion of their admiration an excuse for him and for themselves, they said, “Poor fellow! how can he be expected to get his living with that soft coat, and with no hind thumbs?” And so they ministered to him, each one hoping that she might be the one whom he found essential to his happiness. He was often seen stretched upon the grass, or lolling against a tree, with half a score of these infatuated young creatures grouped around him, waiting upon him, bringing him cocoanuts, endeavoring to win from him some special acknowledgment of thankfulness—some mark of preference.
In vain did other males approach these besotted damsels. In vain did they howl, and spring from tree to tree! In vain did they even dance with an extravagance—a frenzy of strength and agility which had never before been known in the annals of gorilla courtship, and which could be surpassed only by few of the many similar scenes described by the Darwin. It was as nothing compared with the listless languor of the soft-coated, and hind-thumbless fellow.
But, in like manner, vain was the devotion of these silly young creatures. No one of them found favor in his eyes. At last he sent sorrow and despair into their souls by telling them in secret, one by one, that although she was very good, and although to have cocoanuts, and fruit, and water brought to him by such a nice waiter-girl was very pleasant, and he was very much obliged, he thought it only fair, under the circumstances, and considering her obvious expectations, to say that he was not a marrying gorilla. In fact, he never could be fond of such roughly-haired creatures as even she-gorillas were; and that, until he found one whose coat was even softer and slighter than his own, he should remain a bachelor. They heard his avowal in silent grief, each one saying in her heart that his conditions were cruelly difficult to comply with; in fact, as she turned the matter over in her mind—quite im-pos-si-ble. And each one silently resolved that she would admit the addresses of no other gentleman gorilla, let him dance before her never so furiously; but all her life would remain the virgin widow of her living love. Such, the Darwin tells, has been the determination of the females of other races, dogs, guinea-hens, etc.[[5]]
[5]. See “The Descent of Man, etc.,” chapter xiv., passim; where, however, the reader will find recorded multitudinous instances of fickleness, faithlessness, and forgetfulness on the part of “widows;” unfeminine forwardness, and even of downright “seduction” on the part of matrons and even of maidens of the bird family.
Among this interesting—I must say interesting, although infatuated—group of gorilla girls was one who took this determination more seriously to heart than the others did. She gave herself up to loneliness and melancholy musings. She left the delights of caves and woods and the companionship they bring, and wandered forth upon the plains, level and lonely, rockless, treeless, and dismal with sunlight. Her thought, day and night, was, “How can I rid myself of this disgusting coat of coarse hair? and if I could do so, should I find favor in his eyes?”