I could also gather together many such filthy, vnmannerly, and baudie fashions noted by others euen in his own countrey. But I detest this dogged eloquence, neither take I any pleasure to be witty in the disgracing of others: and yet I will not shew my selfe such a milke-soppe as to be daunted with light words. Onely, let all honest and good men consider, what disposition it argueth, for one to obiect against a whole nation certaine misdemeanours committed by some one or other particular man. If any man should trauell thorowout all the cities and townes of Germanie or any other nation, and heaping together the offences, and most leud maners, the robberies, manslaughters, murthers, whoredomes, adulteries, incests, riots, extortions, and other prophane, and filthy actes, should affirme them to be common to all Germans, or otherwise to any other whole nation, and should exaggerate all these things with notorious lies, is he to be accounted one that spends his time in a good argument? But what maruaile is it, though a varlet, and, that I may giue him his true title, a filthy hogge, that imer (I say) hath bewrayed his nature and disposition in reproches? For it is well knowen that swine, when they enter into most pleasant gardens, do not plucke lilies or roses, or any other most beautifull aud sweet flowers; but thrusting their snouts into the ground, doe tumble and tosse vp and downe whatsoeuer durt and dung they can finde, vntill they haue rooted vp most vncleane things, namely such as are best agreeable to their nature, wherewith they greedily glut themselues: Euen so this hoggish Rimer lightly passeth ouer the best and most commendable things of our Common wealth, but as for the woorst, and those which haue been committed by none, or by very few, namely, such things as best fit his humour and disposition (that he might indeed show himselfe to be the same which we haue termed him) those things (I say) hath he scraped vp together: whereupon hereafter by my consent, for his maners and disposition let him enioy the name of a swine.
SECTIO DECIMAQUINTA.
[Sidenote: 9. Conuitium.] Nonum conuicium hic recensebimus, quod à victu, ac præcipuè cibo potu Islandorum maledicus ille porcus, non vno aut paucis verbis, sed prolixa inuectiua petiuit: Nempe quòd cibis vtantur vetustis, et insulsis, idque sine panis vsu: Tum etiam quòd varia et incognita extraneis piscium genera illis sint esui, et aquam ac serum lactis in potum misceant. Quæ omnia venenatus hic pasquillus diserta contumelia, et ingeniosa calumnia, pulchrè amplificauit.
Cæterum etsi ilium prolixiore responsione non dignemur: tamen propter alios, qui hodie hanc rem partim mirantur, partim haud leuiter nostræ genti obijciunt, pauca hoc loco addenda videbantur.
Primùm igitur totam hanc gentem bipartitò secabimus: In mendicos, et hos qui et se et cum alijs etiam mendicos alunt. Mendicorum, et eorum qui ad hos proximè accedunt, omnia cibaria recensere aut examinare haud facile est, nec quod illos edere, aut edisse, extrema aliquando coegit necessitas, reliquæ genti cibariorum genera aut numerum præscribere fas est. Nam et de suffocatis quidem non comedendis legem habemus inter canones, quorum seruantissima videri voluit antiquitas.
Deinde etiam tempora distinguemus, vt nihil minim sit grassante annonæ sæuitia, multa à multis ad explendam famem adhiberi aut adhibita fuisse, quæ alias vix canes pascant. Vt nuperrimè de Parisiensibus accepimus, Anno 1590, arctissima Henrici 4. Nauarræi obsidione pressis, et famem Saguntinam, vt P. Lindebergius loquitur, perpessis; eos non modò equinam, sed morticinam quoque carnem ex mortuorum ossibus in mortario contusis farinæ pugillo vno aut altero misto, confectam, in suas dapes conuertisse, et de alijs quoque populis notum est, qui simili vrgente inopia, etiam murium, felium et canum esu victi tarint. Sic etiam Islandis aliquando vsu venit (quanquam a canina, munum et felium, vt et humana carne hactenus, nobis quantum constat, abstinuerint) licet non ab hoste obsessis: Nam cùm ad victum necessaria ex terra marique petant, et ab extraneis nihil commeatus, aut parum admodum aquehatur, quoties terræ, marisque munera DEVS præcluserit, horrendam annonæ caritatem ingruere et ingruisse, et dira fame vexare incolas, necesse est. Vnde fit, vt illos qui in diem viuere soliti fuerint, nec præcedentium annorum superantes commeatus habuerint, extrema tentasse, quoties egestas vrserit, credibile. Cæterum, vtrum hæc res publico et perpetuo opprobrio magis apud Islandos, quàm alias nationes, occasionem meritò præbere debeat, candidis et bonis animis iudi candum relinquo.
Porrò quod de gentis nostræ proprijs et consuetis alimentis multi obijcere solent, potissimum de carne, piscibus, butyro, absque sale inueteratis, Item de lacticinijs, frumenti inopia, potu aquæ, &c. et reliquis: id nos in plurimis Islandiæ locis (nam sunt multi quoque nostratium, qui Danorum et Germanorum more, quantum quidem castis et temperatis animis ad mediocritatem sufficere debet, licet magna condimentorum varietate, vt et ipsis Pharmacopolijs, destituimur, mensam instruere et frugaliter viuere sustineant) ita se habere haud multis refragabimur, videlicet prædicta victus genera, passim sine salis condimento vsitata esse. Et insuper addemus, hæc ipsa cibaria, quæ extranei quidam vel nominare horrent, ipsos tamen extraneos apud nos, non sine voluptate, manducare solitos. [Sidenote: Ratio conseruandos cibos sine sale.] Nam etsi frumenti aut farris penè nihil vulgò habeamus, nec sal, gulæ irritamentum, ad cibaria condienda, omnibus suppetit: docuit tamen Deus opt. max. etiam nostros homines rationem tractandi et conseruandi, quæ ad vitam sustentandam spectant, vt appareat, Deum in alendis Islandis non esse ad panem vel salem alligatum. Quòd verò sua omnia extranei iucundiora et salubriora clamant; negamus tamen satis causæ esse, cur nostra nobis exprobrent: Nec nos DEVM gulæ nostræ debitorem reputamus; quin potius toto pectore gratias agimus, quod sine opiparis illis delicijs et lautitijs, quæ tam iucundæ et salubres putantur, etiam nostræ gentis hominibus, annos et ætatem bonam, tum valetudinem etiam firmissimam, robur ac vires validas (quæ omnia statimus boni et conuenientis alimenti, [Greek: kai tes euchrasias] esse indicia) concedere dignetur, cum ingenio etiam non prorsus tam crasso ac sterili, quàm huic nostro aëri et alimentis assignare Philosophi videntur, quod re libentius, quàm verbis multi fortasse nostratium comprobare poterant.
Ni nos (vt inquit ille) paupertas inuidia deprimeret.
Sed hic vulgi iudicium, vt in alijs sæpè, etiam eos qui sapere volunt (iam omnes bonos et cordatos excipio) nimis apertè decipit: Videlicet hoc ipso, quòd omnia, quæ illorum vsus non admittit, aut quæ non viderunt, aut experti sunt antea, continuò damnent. Veluti, si quis, qui mare nunquam vidit, mare mediterraneum esse aliquod, non possit adduci vt credat: Sic illi sensu suæ experientiæ omnia metiuntur, vt nihil sit bonum, nihil conductibile, nisi quo illi soli viuunt: At profectò nos, eò dementiæ non processimus, vt eos qui locustis vescuntur, quod tum de alijs, tum Æthiopiæ quibusdam populis, ideo (autore Diodoro) Acridophagis appellatis, et Indiæ, gente, cui Mandrorum nomen Clytharcus et Magestanes dederunt, teste Agatarchide, didicimus; aut ranis, aut cancris mannis, aut squillis gibbis, quæ res hodiè nota est, vulgi propterea ludibrijs exponere præsumamus, a quibus tamen edulijs, in totum nostra consuetudo abhorret.
The same in English.