“You are right!” he exclaimed. “To-morrow I will buy those bears, take them to the farm, and turn them loose!”
No objections his friend could offer could divert him from his purpose. When they urged that to spend so much money in such a manner was criminally wasteful, he pointed out that he was sufficiently rich to indulge any extravagant fancy, whether in polo ponies or bears; when they warned him that if he did not look out the bears would catch him alone in the woods, and eat him, he retorted that the bears were now educated to a different diet; when they said he should consider the peace of mind of his neighbors, he assured them the fence around his game preserve would restrain an elephant.
“Besides,” protested Kelly, “what you propose to do is not only impracticable, but it’s cruelty to animals. A domesticated animal can’t return to a state of nature, and live.”
“Can’t it?” jeered Herrick. “Did you ever read ‘The Call of the Wild’?”
“Did you ever read,” retorted Kelly, “what happened at the siege of Ladysmith when the oats ran low and they drove the artillery horses out to grass? They starved, that’s all. And if you don’t feed your bears on milk out of a bottle they’ll starve too.”
“That’s what will happen,” cried Jackson; “those bears have forgotten what a pine forest smells like. Maybe it’s a pity, but it’s the fact. I’ll bet if you could ask them whether they’d rather sleep in a cave on your farm or be headliners in vaudeville, they’d tell you they were ‘devoted to their art.’”
“Why!” exclaimed Kelly, “they’re so far from nature that if they didn’t have that colored boy to comb and brush them twice a day they’d be ashamed to look each other in the eyes.”
“And another thing,” continued Jackson, “trained animals love to ‘show off.’ They’re children. Those bears ENJOY doing those tricks. They ENJOY the applause. They enjoy dancing to the ‘Merry Widow Waltz.’ And if you lock them up in your jungle, they’ll get so homesick that they’ll give a performance twice a day to the squirrels and woodpeckers.”
“It’s just as hard to unlearn a thing as to learn it,” said Kelly sententiously. “You can’t make a man who has learned to wear shoes enjoy going around in his bare feet.”
“Rot!” cried Herrick. “Look at me. Didn’t I love New York? I loved it so I never went to bed for fear I’d miss something. But when I went ‘Back to the Land,’ did it take me long to fall in love with the forests and the green fields? It took me a week. I go to bed now the same day I get up, and I’ve passed on my high hat and frock coat to a scarecrow. And I’ll bet you when those bears once scent the wild woods they’ll stampede for them like Croker going to a third alarm.”