“You're talking rot!” said his dutiful nephew. “Take Phil here, for example. I've roomed with him three years and I can testify that he has never opened a book. He never heard of Galsworthy until you spoke of him. And you can see for yourself his table manners are quite as bad as yours!”
“Worse!” assented Birrell loyally.
“And as for ragging! What rags, in your day, were as good as ours; as the Carrie Nation rag, for instance, when five hundred people sat through a temperance lecture and never guessed they were listening to a man from Balliol?”
“And the Abyssinian Ambassador rag!” cried Herbert. “What price that? When the DREADNOUGHT manned the yards for him and gave him seventeen guns. That was an Oxford rag, and carried through by Oxford men. The country hasn't stopped laughing yet. You give us a rag!” challenged Herbert. “Make it as hard as you like; something risky, something that will make the country sit up, something that will send us all to jail, and Phil and I will put it through whether it takes one man or a dozen. Go on,” he persisted, “And I bet we can get fifty volunteers right here in town and all of them undergraduates.”
“Give you the idea, yes!” mocked Bellew, trying to gain time. “That's just what I say. You boys to-day are so dull. You lack initiative. It's the idea that counts. Anybody can do the acting. That's just amateur theatricals!”
“Is it!” snorted Herbert. “If you want to know what stage fright is, just go on board a British battle-ship with your face covered with burnt cork and insist on being treated like an ambassador. You'll find it's a little different from a first night with the Simla Thespians!”
Ford had no part in the debate. He had been smoking comfortably and with well-timed nods, impartially encouraging each disputant. But now he suddenly laid his cigar upon his plate, and, after glancing quickly about him, leaned eagerly forward. They were at the corner table of the terrace, and, as it was now past nine o'clock, the other diners had departed to the theatres and they were quite alone. Below them, outside the open windows, were the trees of the embankment, and beyond, the Thames, blocked to the west by the great shadows of the Houses of Parliament, lit only by the flame in the tower that showed the Lower House was still sitting.
“I'LL give you an idea for a rag,” whispered Ford. “One that is risky, that will make the country sit up, that ought to land you in Jail? Have you read 'The Riddle of the Sands'?”
Bellew and Herbert nodded; Birrell made no sign.
“Don't mind him,” exclaimed Herbert impatiently. “HE never reads anything! Go on!”