as cloase to the man as writes the Times as I be to thee.”
The O’Rapley nodded his head knowingly several times.
“‘Well, and how much do thee charge to keep un out?’ seys I. ‘Don’t be too hard upon me, I be only a poor man.’
“‘We have only one charge,’ says the Times, ‘and that is half a guinea.’
“‘Spoase we say seven and six,’ sess I.
“‘That,’ seys the Times, ‘wouldn’t keep your name out, and I suppose you don’t want that in?’ ‘Very well,’ I sess, takin’ out my leather bag and handin’ him the money; ‘this’ll keep un out, wool ur?’
“‘Sartainly,’ says he; and then his friend Jack says, ‘My fee be five shillings, sir.’ ‘And who be thee?’ says I. ‘I’m the Telegrarf,’ seys he. ‘The devil thee be?’ I sess, ‘I’ve eerd tell on ee.’ ‘Largest calculation in the world,’ he says; ‘and, if thee like,’ he says, ‘I can take the Daily Noos and Stanard money, for I don’t see ’em here jist now; it’ll be five shillings apiece.’
“‘Well,’ I sess, ‘this be rum business, this; if I takes a quantity like this, can’t it be done a little cheaper?’
“‘No,’ he says; ‘we stands too high for anything o’ that sort. Thee can ’ave it or leave it.’
“‘Very well,’ I sess; ‘then, if there’s no option, there’s the money.’ And with that I handed un the fifteen shillings.